Moon Bound (Forgotten Series, #5)

Chapter Twenty-One

Two weeks later

Life was... settling. More so than before. I was being accepted into the pack, no one ignored me anymore but the looks I did get were enough to make me want to hit someone. If I had known that Alpha Lace forcing me into the infertility support group would have resulted in looks of pity, I would have told her to shove it up her ass.

My face twisted with distaste as I walked around the bathroom, picking up the discarded and used towels. It was one thing to have to deal with the issues I was facing and another to be opened up to the fact that everyone now pitied me. I was a creature to be pitied and Bastian even more so. I was barren and he was stuck with me in a culture that dictated you had large families with many children. It was enough to set my teeth on edge and would make me cry if I let it.

I was coming to terms with not being able to have children, I was. It was hard, so fucking hard, but I was coming to terms. I knew I wouldn't have been holding it together nearly as well without the girls. Having people who intimately understood what you were going through helped a lot in talking about it all. We all had different personalities and ranks but we shared the same pain and sometimes that was enough.

It was enough to look across the courtyard as I felt like I was drowning in a sea of pity to have another woman meet my gaze who felt the same. I had noticed they started to be around more. I hadn't really seen them around before, or perhaps just hadn't noticed them but they would come and find me, ask me if I would like to come for lunch or a social visit. It seemed that we took the motto 'strength in numbers' very seriously. It felt less drowning to be looked at with pity when they were there beside me.

It was also nice to have social contact, to have someone embrace me warmly in welcome or just smile and wave at me from across the courtyard. I didn't feel like a pariah anymore and that was nice. It also helped that with Larissa being so high up in the hierarchy it boosted my status to be seen with her and be on friendly terms. She was the mate of the Delta and as she viewed me as someone worthy of notice, it meant others did as well. They still kept their distance but I knew that had a lot to do with Alpha Lace threatening that she would deal with anyone who caused shit.

Apparently when one wanted to keep their head, they kept her happy. Not that I was complaining, I didn't like petty shit being caused so it was best that they kept their distance and left me far away from the drama I knew was around me. It was very clear to me that this pack, despite how different it was, was just like the others when it came to petty squabbling. Like Delirium liking Aiden and the issues it was causing between her and the other women who liked him as well. If I hadn't been stuck working with her it would have been entertaining to watch. It was like my own personal 'Days of Our Lives' show.

As it was, I was stuck listening to her bitch and bemoan the fact that Aiden wouldn't give her the time of day. It was very hard for me to not tell her to shut up because Aiden didn't give any of the women the time of day they wanted. As nice and funny as he was, he also had a somber and severe cast to him. I had assumed that it was because his twin sister, Caeda, had abruptly left the pack. Either she was blind or playing stupid, I didn't know which, nor did I really care.

I moved into the small laundry room, rotating the laundry around before shoving the towels I had picked up into the washer. I had spent a few hours with the group today and my mood was always a bit down after the sessions. It was natural but it always left me feeling rather tetchy emotionally. I threw the soap in and started the machine before I set the basket down in the pile. I was just finishing up with my shift in the bathhouse and all I wanted to do was find Bastian to just curl up with him in bed. It always made me feel better to do that.

I moved into the main entry where Delirium was tucking stacks of clothing into their respective cubbies. "I'm going to head out for the day." I watched her, waiting for a reply but all I got was a mere shrug of her shoulders. I rolled my eyes at that but pushed it away all the same. I needed to go find Bastian and we were going to go home and relax, decompress from the day, from my group session.