white boys (river phoenix)

43

"That's nice." He shrugged. "I guess I'm hanging out with my family too."

"Mhm," Robin nodded slowly.

That was another problem- they had been so good starting out. Everything had been good. The downfall was slow, yet sudden. It was expected, but confusing to the both of them. This tiny dilemma was exploding into other little tiny dilemmas like a supernova, waiting to be marked by one final titanic explosion. It was impeding their ability to speak to each other the way they used to. Their conversations didn't seem as organic, sometimes short, sometimes snappy. It was unusual, but they both figured they'd get over it, so they just ignored it.

"I dunno. I guess we're just going through a drift... but we'll be good soon, or, I dunno," Robin rambled to Elliot as she sorted out a pile of books at work in the library after school.

Elliot was always a good person to go to for boy problems, because unlike most boys, he actually understood and would give advice. He was also just a kind person and a good listener. He sat there with his palm resting underneath his chin as he listened to her and watched her expressions change and falter while she spoke.

He noted the dismal smile on her face and grinned, trying to up her mood,

"You're a beautiful girl, Robin, any boy would be lucky to have you. He'll realize that soon and come around."

"Thanks, Elliot. And I know he'll come around, but he thinks I'm lying to him. And, I guess I sort of am... but for a good reason. And it's not like our whole relationship was built on secrets or something. That's what I'm trying to steer away from."

"No, I totally get that. I once dated this guy back in Australia who was totally up my arse about everything. He'd see me hanging out with the guys on my lacrosse team and think I was flirting with them or something, when I'm pretty sure none of them knew I was gay, and none of them were gay either. Maybe that's not the same as your situation, though. Or is it?"

Robin sighed, pouting,

    "Not entirely. But you're not far off. I can't help but think that's what it's about to be, you know what I mean?"

    "Of course. It's completely understandable. On the one hand, you don't want him to think you're lying about everything, and you want him to trust you. But on the other hand, that doesn't mean you feel like you can be totally open with him about everything- which doesn't make you a liar," Elliot said, and Robin was about to respond until Mathilde walked in.

    "That sounded eloquent, Elliot. You should enter that in the writing competition coming up. Robin, honey are you still doing that?" she asked.

    "Oh shit, I totally forgot," Robin realized, her eyes widening.

    The library was holding a competition where high school teenagers from Boston entered in a writing piece for the chance to be published by a company named Take Flight. They had grown increasingly popular over the years and had published some of Robin's favorite authors. The idea of being published by that company would make Robin's dream of becoming a writer that much true. She couldn't miss up on this opportunity, even if it was a brief moment in even a dim spotlight- it was still going to be her first published piece.

Robin had never formally published anything she'd written- she didn't have the confidence to back in Georgia. But in Boston, things had changed. It was like there was a rulebook back in Georgia, and in Boston, all those rules could be broken. She didn't yet know what to write, but she was sure she could just combine old things she'd written and perhaps put them into one big piece.

"Better get on that, right?" Mathilde asked, raising a brow.

Mathilde held high expectations for Robin and wanted her to get somewhere decent in life, the same as she did with Elliot. She knew that Robin specifically wanted to be a writer, Elliot liked those things too, but he wasn't looking at writing as a job. This would get Robin somewhere and give her a headstart if she did something like this and won, especially since she hadn't had experience in the public yet. She had told Robin about it when Robin first came to apply for her job, and Robin hadn't had time to think about it since.