I know I shouldn't dwell on this guy and miss him and crave him and his presence, but I do. I miss him more than ever and we haven't seen each other in a week and it hurts because clearly it doesn't affect him but it does to me. I should let him go already because I won't be seeing him after this year and we're both going to move on with our lives and I need to get that through my head because I know he isn't the one for me either but I sure as hell would've loved if he was the one for me. I miss the old days though when we weren't close, because those felt like he craved me and wanted to know me better and just felt like he wanted me, but now I'm not a priority of his and if he does have priority for a girl, he ALWAYS chooses the wrong one and let me tell you, he is so blind to love and what actually is in front of him. I mean I've fell in love before and to see him not fall in love with the other girls but use them is disgusting, I don't like that I just like him and his long talks about life, family, us, plans for the future, etc. I hate how I pay for him, he chooses the wrong girls, acts foolish, etc. I don't like it at all, but from now on I am going to distance myself and let him do whatever the hell he wants to do with his life and just realize that I was the best for him and he lost it. I also broke the news to him that he won't be joining me this spring break.
