Drowning in sorrow and regret is how I feel everyday. Yes, my life is full of happiness also, but half the time I'm living in it is full of sadness, regret, and mourning. I feel as if everything I say and do i screw up. I fuck up. I do shit I shouldn't do half the time. Sometimes I say stuff I shouldn't because it comes out and I fully regret it afterwards. I guess this part of my book I will be ranting on myself. A flaw i point out almost all the time is my beauty. It isn't any beauty to me. My facial and body features disgust me. I ask myself why God would even create such a horrible person like me in this world. If he wanted a happier world he would have created people who are perfect and well more people who are unlike me, screw ups. Then again I look at movies and such and some are based on true stories so they do have it worst then me and I regret everything I'm saying at times but it's true. I drown in life half the time and most of the time I drown in school cause it sucks balls ahaha I don't like it but that's the way the cookie crumbles remember? See now everything I'm telling you and I'm writing is everything I'm drowning in. It's like a pool of water. Remember those days when you're just a little kid and do whatever you want so you jump in the pool all dare devil and you don't have any floaties on so you drown and you can't breathe and your whole world comes crashing down until you black out. That's how I kind of feel at the moment. But there is always that one thing that saves you. Air. I guess you can say I'm that one ugly duckling that goes away from the pack. If I could start life all over again I would. I would want a nice body, gorgeous face, good personality, and overall a new me without any flaws. Life would be simpler. Life would be much beautifuler. I'd be confident and happy and love life like i should. But I guess the world is not a wish granting factory like Augustus Waters once said. The moral is this passage is that it's okay to drown in life, but once you can't breathe anymore you have to come up and face reality.
-M.A.
