Juuzou x Reader Oneshots

࿏☆Numb☆࿏

⋆[Summary: Juuzou promised he'd look after you and kept his promise even in the afterlife. But, sometimes the pain of losing the one you love is just too much to bear.]

⋆[Warnings: angst, depressing themes, mentions of self-harm (please do not read if this triggers you or makes you feel uncomfortable)]

✘♤✘♤✘♤✘

『 Have you even opened your eyes, only to have them meet a bright light just after they've gotten used to the dark? Didn't it hurt? Just a bit, and only for a second? Then, once they adjusted, it was as if it never happened? Well, that's how she felt. But for her, it was the opposite. First, there was light. It was lively and colorful. Now, there's nothing but grey.

It all started with a phone call. As soon as she picked up the phone, her heart stopped. Everything did. All she heard was his name. That was all that she needed. The next thing she knew, she rushed to the hospital, the only thing on her mind was to make sure he was okay.

She sat by his bed, his eyes closed peacefully, his chest gently rising... falling. A small smile tilted the corners of his mouth upward. He may have seemed calm, but she wasn't. He said he was okay, that he would be back home in no time. She knew that wasn't true. As much as she wanted to believe it, she couldn't shake that dreadful feeling that reality brought upon her. She didn't know how, but she was right.

His hands rested under hers, fingers intertwined. Suddenly, his grasp tightened as if to say 'don't let go' before he went limp, entirely.

The nurses rushed in as a wave of white washed over her. All she could see now were their white coats, hear only the single, everlasting pitch of the heart monitor, and she could feel nothing. She never felt empty before, but now, he was gone and he took her heart with him.

She stood silently, her dull eyes that were once so full of life and laughter were glued o the cold, stone slab in front of her. It seemed so cold and lifeless. So unlike him. Only a steady stream of tears cascaded down her face as her cries filled the air. She felt cold, her face was blank. She was empty, but she couldn't feel it.

He watched from afar as his lover fell apart in front of him. She fell apart, and all he could do was watch. For what could a spirit do to comfort the living?

Night after night. Week after week. Months passed, but she still felt empty. Everyone said it would pass, that the pain would subside, but it never did. Not that she could feel it anyway. She was just too numb. He knew this, but he still couldn't help her. He knew how to heal her, but he couldn't. He could've gone to paradise alone, but what was paradise for a person like him worth without the one he loved?

She entered her apartment, silent as always, her arms full of papers. She lazily kicked of her shoes before making her way to the couch, immediately starting on the stacks of paperwork. She was exhausted and he knew it, but once again, he couldn't help her. Her empty eyes, once so full of life and love, blankly scanned over the papers, crossing out things and making edits. He hated this. How she worked herself until she could take no more, eventually passing out. It was the only time she could ever sleep anymore. The dark circles under her sunken eyes proved that, along with the perfectly made bed that hadn't been slept in for almost a year now.

It tore him apart, knowing all he could do was watch as she suffered. He remembered the first day she came back, after days in the hospital due to her own injuries. How she came home, staring at the wall as he watched thought after thought cross behind her eyes that seemed to now look right through everything. She sat for hour upon hour before she lost it. She broke down and he saw everything. He watched as she tore down the curtains they had chosen, rid wall after wall of even the slightest hint of him, threw out anything sweet, colorful, happy, bright, anything like him. She broke the dishes they used, tore the sheets off of the bed they shared, and threw all of his clothes out. She then fell to her knees in the center of the room, crying her heart out until she passed out. And all he could do was watch. That was the first time he had ever cried, even as a spirit, he wept. For her. For leaving. For making her numb.