The Truth About Yuuri Katsuki

Five

Victor had started the day out normally, just like every other day of school thus far, and yet somehow it ended up being the strangest day he'd ever lived through. Not only did Yuuri look extra fine today, but he'd specifically sought out Victor to thank him for the shirt again. Just how long had Yuuri been wanting that shirt? And why was that shirt so important outside of the rest? Yuuri had purchased a lot of things that day...could it be because that shirt was the only shirt Victor had spent money on? 

"I'm getting too cocky," Victor muttered to himself, "why would something like that make Yuuri love it so much? And why did I greet him in German! With that phrase too! What is wrong with me?" Victor held his face in his hands to hide his embarrassment. He was going to die a cruel and painful death, (although he wasn't aware of that at the moment) but he might end up dying of embarrassment before the Yuuri obsessed morons chased after him.

Victor had nearly died multiple times over the course of the day. He'd tripped down the stairs, almost stabbed himself with a pair of scissors, and nearly choked on his lunch. Things kept happening to him but he wasn't sure if it was him being clumsy or people trying to assassinate him. In either case, he was beginning to think he was possessed. 

Possessed by love, that is. Each time he was nearly wounded, he had been thinking of only one thing: Yuuri Katsuki. He was too busy replaying the scene from that morning in his mind to pay attention to his surroundings. If he didn't get his act together soon, he really would die from some sort of freak accident. He'd definitely make internet fame, that's for sure, but that isn't what he wanted at the moment. He just wanted to be with his one true love: Yuuri. 

However, what we want most in life usually is the thing we can never obtain. Victor wanted more than anything for Yuuri and him to grow closer, (as friends first, naturally) but it would seem they'd have to grow further apart before they'd be able to grow closer. Two steps back before that one step forward. Victor had managed to survive the whole school day, but the minute he traveled to his locker, the minute he found a letter written to him by Yuuri, he died. He didn't die on a physical level. His body was still fully functional. But he died on an emotional level. His heart snapped in two as he read the letter. The best day of Victor's life had just turned into the worst. Tears fell from his cheeks right then and there and traveled to the cold hard floor of the school's hallway. It wasn't that the words were incredibly harsh, it was just that Victor hated himself for even thinking there was hope. 

I hate you.
I hate the way you look at me
I hate the way you smile
I hate that you seem to be
Free all the while
I'm sitting here, cowering in fear
Wishing my life would end.
It's all thanks you to my dear,
When will this torture end?
I hate your hair, your eyes, your laugh
I hate you down to your core
Please leave me alone, to suffer in silence,
So that I can be free once more.
But I know you won't
I know you can't
You seem to relish in
The fact that I can't swim
Your existence drowns me
I can no longer feel the world around me
Please leave me alone
Please let me live
But that's too big a question
To ask you, isn't it?
I hate you.
I hate the way you look at me.
I hate the way you smile.
I hate that you seem to be
Free all the while
I'm sitting here, angry and depressed
You live, but I'm stressed.
Set me free, oh please, someone
But that's too much to ask.
You won't disappear from me.
No matter how much I request...

The seeds of denial sprouted inside Victor's brain. This couldn't be Yuuri. That just isn't right. His angel would never write something so mean, so cruel, after just a few days of them knowing each other. Would he? But then, why is this his handwriting? Victor knows Yuuri's handwriting, anyone in the school knows what Yuuri's handwriting looks like, that's just how many posters he has made for different clubs and campaigns. His handwriting is all over the place! 

Even though Victor wanted desperately to believe that Yuuri hadn't written him this letter, he couldn't stop himself. Victor knew how terrible of a human being he was for not believing in Yuuri. But, he should've known that no one would like him on that level to begin with. He had gotten cocky since he'd seen a version of Yuuri that he hadn't seen before when they bumped into each other at the mall. He'd thought that the two of them were more similar than they actually were. Victor hated himself for thinking such things. He'd just gotten himself hurt. Yuuri didn't want anything to do with him. What was he supposed to do now? The two periods of the day when he was most happy would turn into the two periods of the day he most despised, it was all because of Yuuri and his own foolishness. 

"I'm such an idiot," Victor muttered under his breath. He placed the letter into his bag and tried to forget about its existence. What should he do now? What was the next step he should take? Yuuri had written an entire poem about how much he hated Victor! Was there really any hope at all? Should he talk to Yuuri about the letter and the poem? Or should he just keep his distance? Victor didn't know. 

But there had to be some sort of reason why the letter was typed and the poem was handwritten. Victor was determined to at least talk to Yuuri about it. But, who knows when he actually would. All he wanted to do at the moment was go home and slap himself with a fish. Maybe that would knock some sense into him.