The Truth About Yuuri Katsuki

Twenty-Three

"Victor," Yuuri's voice was solemn on the phone. Victor wasn't sure what that meant. Had he done something wrong? He shouldn't have. Yuuri would've told him if that was the case, right? "We need to break up." Guess he was wrong in thinking that. What had he done? Victor didn't understand. 

"W-what?" This couldn't be right. Their relationship had been going so well. Or, had he been the only one thinking everything was gong smoothly? Had he underestimated it? Had he not put enough effort in?

"I just don't think we work well together. I'm sorry," Yuuri apologized. He hung up directly after. Victor couldn't even say another word. That only made him all the more skeptical. This couldn't be right. Something was wrong.

"I don't understand," Victor dropped his phone in his confusion. What had he done? What had he missed? Ciel heard the phone drop and went into Victor's room to check on him. Victor was still in shock from the whole experience. Emotions were delayed. 

"Victor? What happened? Why do you look so confused?"

"Yuuri, he just...broke up with me," Victor didn't want to say the words aloud. He had to. He hated it. He wanted to crawl into a ball on his bed and never go outside again. Never. His brain was malfunctioning. So was his heart. 

"Bullshit," Ciel crossed his arms and frowned, "there is no way that you two could've broken up. Something must be wrong. You have to talk to him."

"But, what if he really doesn't like me anymore?" Victor asked. His mind was filling itself with doubt. He doubted himself. He doubted Yuuri's feelings. 

"I'm telling you that's impossible. Something has to be up. You have to get to the bottom of this," Ciel pointed at Victor's face then turned to leave. Victor stared at the door as it closed. Maybe Ciel was right. No. Victor shook his head. Ciel was right. Something had to be wrong. There must be some sort of reason. He was going to get to the bottom of this, just like Ciel said. 

Yuuri sat on his bed and threw his phone on the floor before plopping down. He'd thought about this for a while but he couldn't believe he actually did it. Yuuri felt broken. There was something daunting about being in a relationship with Victor. There was always this looming thought in the back of his mind that it would end and he would be forced back to reality. Yuuri wasn't special in his own eyes. Victor was 10x better than him in every way possible. He'd enjoyed his taste of heaven. It was time to end the facade. 

He clung to his pillow and bundled up in as many blankets as he could find. "I don't want it to end," he sobbed. But it has to. You'll never be good enough for Victor Nikiforov. What made you think it was okay to start this? You know the truth, Yuuri.

"I do know the truth," Yuuri spoke to himself. "The truth is, I love Victor." 

No, you don't. You love the image of Victor. You love that he can be himself. Something you can't be. Who are you Yuuri Katsuki?

"A fake," Yuuri closed his eyes and tried to sleep. Maybe he could sleep through his alarm and completely neglect to go to school. He hoped that would be the case. 

It wasn't. Yuuri went to school like usual. He avoided Victor with all of his power. Victor didn't seem interested in talking to him either. The two avoided each other full force. It got the school talking. People muttered to each other wondering if the two were fighting. They wanted to know what had caused the fight. They whispered about if the two would ever fix the problem. Was this the end? Phichit was especially worried. 

"Yuuri," Phichit ran over to him in the hallway. "What is going on?" he asked. Yuuri avoided eye contact and refused to give a straight answer no matter what types of questions his friend asked. Phichit had seen this happen before. Yuuri lacked confidence in himself more than anything. He could guess as to what happened between Victor and Yuuri.

"You broke up with him, didn't you?" Phichit placed his hands on Yuuri's shoulders. He looked him right in the eyes. 

"Y-yeah," was all Yuuri could say.

"Why the hell would you break up with the guy you've been pining for all of this time?!" Phichit's voice raised and students glanced in their direction. 

"You already know why," Yuuri sighed. It's true. Phichit knew almost everything about Yuuri. He could put the pieces in place. The puzzle wasn't that hard to solve. 

"Yuuri, Victor cares about you. He isn't going to let you end it like this," Phichit frowned.

"What if he does? You don't know everything, Phichit," Yuuri fidgeted. "It was going to happen anyway. I just solidified the future before I got too carried away. What's so wrong with that?"

Phichit raised his hand and slapped Yuuri. The noise was loud and more people glanced in their direction than before. Students were whispering to each other. Teachers were keeping an eye on them to make sure it didn't escalate. "That's your anxiety and low self-esteem talking and you know it. You have to trust people, Yuuri. You have to trust them more than you trust yourself because your brain is shit."

Yuuri placed a hand on his cheek. It was read and burning from where Phichit slapped him. "I know that," he muttered. No. He didn't. He could tell himself thousands of times but his brain would never truly understand what Phichit was saying. "I'm not who he thinks I am. This whole thing was founded on lies, Phichit. It had to end."

Phichit frowned. "If Victor lets you go this easy, then he isn't who I thought he was. But, you, Yuuri, you've disappointed me. Maybe I'm the one who doesn't know who you really are, not Victor," Phichit walked away. He knew he said too much and some of it was stuff Yuuri couldn't handle right now. He couldn't be bothered to think about that. He had to fix this. He had to do something or his friend would make the biggest mistake of his life. 

"Victor," Phichit ran after the male. What perfect timing. Victor just conveniently happened to be there when Phichit needed him. "I need to tell you the truth," he paused to catch his breath. "The truth about Yuuri Katsuki."