Those Pretty Blind Eyes

Chapter 65: The Truth.

Chapter 65: The Truth.

(TANYA)

It's been two days since that man named James Alejandro talked with me and ever since that day I couldn't bring myself to confront Sean because even though part of me believes what that man said I'm still scared to hear that it's the truth coming from his mouth. I only stayed at my house and at the hospital, I didn't know how to face him, I couldn't face him. I'm afraid that I will treat him differently because of the fact that he is a Mafia Boss. Fortunately, on that two days Sean didn't visit me and he didn't even call me however, I still felt disappointed because I still want to hear from him.

And I hate myself for it.

The truth is conflicting with my feelings towards him, it's painful.

"Tanya?" I heard my Dad called me.

"Ah yeah?" I asked.

"You seemed not in yourself today, I've been calling you a few times and it seems that your body is here but your mind is wandering somewhere," he said, "I'm glad that you visited me here today but if you are not feeling well, I can take care of myself."

I feel so guilty, I should be taking care of my father, "No, I'm fine," I gave him a reassuring smile.

"Tell me what's bothering you," he pushed.

Should I tell him? I couldn't tell him the truth.

When I didn't answer he said again, "Is it about Sean? Did he hurt you?"

Hearing his name hurts and I couldn't prevent my emotions falling.

"Why are you crying?" he asked worriedly as I felt his arms around me, trying to comfort me, "Tell me what he did!"

"I don't know, Dad," I cried, wiping tears with my hands, "I don't know what to do anymore." I can't tell my Dad anything, I can't tell anyone everything because I have to take it all to the point that I just want to scream to let it all out.

"I found out something about him and it feels like everything I knew about him were all lies," I croaked, "I don't want to lose him but something about him makes me want to."

"What is it? What did you found out?" my Dad asked softly.

I shook my head in frustration, "Please Dad, don't ask about it, I can't do it." Because I know that once he knew, the words about leaving him will definitely come out on his mouth, and although it's stupid, I don't want to hear it.

"You have to tell me so that I could hel—,"

"Please Dad," I interrupted him with pleading.

He was silent for awhile and my cries echoes around the hospital room.

"Alright," he said in defeat, "I don't understand anything but I don't like to see you hurting, it pains me also. After all those thoughts about him, after hearing something about him, did that make you love him less?" he asked.

"No," I breathed, "But it makes me look at him differently."

"Tanya, all of us learn new things about the person we love and it's up to us if we accept them or not. However if you accept him for whom he really is and you still love him, you are foolish and stupid but isn't that what love is? if the feelings are mutual and if he loves you more than the way you love him then no matter what people say, no matter how painful it is, that's true love," he said.

"If you think that everything he showed you were all lies, you can only confirm it with him. Yes, he might still lie but it's up to you whether to believe it or not but you have to listen to him no matter how bullshits they are, listen to him," he added, "We have a heart and a brain and we have to use both of them. You can't use them separately because they work together. If you think and feel that you love him, then you love him. I might be acting that I don't like him but I feel like he loves you."