Dangerous Love//Shawn Mendes

Chapter 7

I couldn't help the sea of nerves that had sunken down into my stomach. The flicker of hope that maybe Shawn would change this time battled against the thought that this time wouldn't be any different. I had to make a plan now to resist any advances he might make, knowing that my future self couldn't be trusted to push him away. Tonight, I had to look at him as a friend, nothing more.

I absentmindedly finished the rest of my homework, my whole body turning cold with anxiety. I found myself both dreading and anticipating 6 o'clock. I wished I could buy more time to think this over, and admittedly I considered calling to reschedule or cancel all together. But it was already 5 o'clock and I would have to start getting ready soon. It was too late to back out now.

I threw on black skinny jeans and a blouse, not wanting to get too fancy for just a movie-with a friend, I reminded myself. I forced myself not to bother with too much makeup, just some light foundation, mascara and lip-gloss. I had relatively clear skin anyway and Shawn had already seen me at dancing without makeup, so what difference did it make.

I fiddled with the hem of my shirt as I sat down on my bed, glancing at the time. 5.53, it read. I half expected him not to show up, to pull my hopes up as a part of his little game just to let them fall. He would probably be laughing about it with his friends by tomorrow, 'desperate girl practically begging for me, hanging off every word I say.' I started to get angry at the thought of this, but just as was getting myself worked up, the doorbell rang.

I didn't allow myself to get nervous as I placed my hand on the door handle, took a deep breath and opened the door.

'Hi Eleanor,' He greeted coolly and I was faced with the awkward dilemma of what I was supposed to do now. Should I hug him? I decided to keep my distance, eliminating any possibility of getting too close.

'Hey.' I said weakly, nerves taking over my voice. I cleared my throat and willed myself to sound more confident.

'Ready to go?' He offered, moving out of the door way and gesturing to his Jeep parked next to the footpath. I nodded my head and finally allowed myself to look at him properly. He was wearing blue jeans and a black button down shirt left open at the collar and rolled up to his elbows. I couldn't help but think that he was dressed nicely for just a movie. Was this a date to him? I also couldn't help but notice how his jaw protruded from his porcelain skin, how his features seemed to become more sculpted each time I saw him.

As I skirted past him, I got a whiff of his subtle cologne. It smelled musky and fresh and I resisted the urge to inhale through my nose so I could smell more of it. I made sure to get to the car first and open my own door. He silently observed this and I hoped he knew that it set the tone for the rest of the evening- no fast ones.

'Our movie starts at 7.30, where do you want to eat beforehand. I'm new to town so you tell me where to go.' Shawn said as he started the engine. I thought for a second before directing him to a diner a short walk from the cinema.

'So what do you think of it here so far?' I asked, figuring it was as good of a conversation starter as any.

'Its different. I'm from a small town in Canada, we had one school, one grocery store, one hospital...' At this he seemed to trail off, whether he was done talking or just lost in thought I wasn't sure-I suppose he missed home. But when I looked over at him, I saw his expression change back to normal and he continued.

'And here its just so busy, impersonal. I'm used to everyone knowing everyone, but here I'm just a stranger.' I knew what he meant. In a city like this, it was hard not to feel like just an insignificant little speck. I liked it though; sometimes it was nice to be able to see that the world was still spinning.