Dangerous Love//Shawn Mendes

Chapter 2

I woke up almost a half hour after I had intended to, leaving me just 20 minutes to get to school. I cursed to myself as I hastily pulled on my school uniform, a white dress with thin red, blue and grey stripes. Almost slipping as I ran down the stairs, I snatched an apple from the fruit bowl and pulled on my socks and shoes. In record time I was out the door, jogging my way to school and making it just before the bell.

I walked into class panting slightly, scanning the room for my group of friends. My eyes slid over the various levels of the social hierarchy, clearly distinguishable purely by the amount of makeup worn and cleavage shown by the girls. Resting around the middle was my friendship group, consisting of 4 people. There was Sarah, who was the most outgoing. She was always at one party or another and her phone was always buzzing. There was Lucy, who was smart and sensitive, with glasses that were always slipping down her nose. There was Sam, who was sporty and effortless, never without a girl on his trail. There was Will, who had been my best friend ever since we were in middle school, albeit the fact that he had been rumoured to have liked me since 9th grade. Then there was me, a ballerina. That was the only word I really had to describe me. 

My friends smiled in acknowledgement as I sat down next to Lily and Will. The teacher walked in and class began in the usual way, dragging on and on for what felt like forever. I tried to pay attention, but my mind just kept wandering.  I wrote mindlessly in my notebook, pretending to have been listening for the past 45 minutes. The rest of the day continued in the same way, uneventful and boring.

As the final bell went, I grabbed my bag from my locker and hurried out the gates of the school, heading for the dance studio. I had to be quick if I wanted to be on time for class. I arrived after the short walk and found that the change room was already occupied by the other girls. I usually didn't change in front of them, because they were so judgemental, but now I didn't have a choice or I would be late for class. Facing the wall and trying not to draw attention to myself, I unbuckled my school shoes and took off my socks. Unbuttoning my school dress, I let it fall down to my ankles so that I was standing in my bra and underwear. It was at this point that I begin to hear things, whispers coming from the other side of the room.

'Oh my god, look at her ribs! They stick out so much she must be anorexic.' I heard through the silence of the room. My cheeks flushed red and the room started to feel hot. I got that panicked feeling in my chest and my brain felt clouded and slow. I quickly pulled on my tights and fumbled through my bag to find my leotard.

'And her boobs, she's flatter than my 10 year old sister.' One girl remarked a little too loudly. They knew I could hear them; they just didn't care. Something came over me as I pulled my leotard up and over my body, finally covered. I had never felt like this before, and it was terrifying. Tears were stinging the backs of my eyes as I tried to blink them away. Half running out of the room as I tied my skirt around my waist, I made it to the bathroom cubicle and braced my forearms against the door, locking it and taking a moment to breathe. I frantically tried to clear my head, all too aware of the time and how late I was. I tried to calm myself, to pull myself up out of the water that I was drowning in, but no matter what I did, nothing seemed to work. I shouldn't have cared, they were just jealous, my figure was fine, there was nothing wrong with me, I told myself. 

But nothing that came to my mind made me feel any better, nothing would slow my racing heart or stop my nerve endings from tingling. So I took a deep breath and unlocked the cubicle. I stumbled into the ballet class only a few minutes late, and I quickly took my position for the beginning of the dance. 

The music started and I immediately fell a beat behind, growing more and more overwhelmed as the room started to spin. I made it through about a minute of the dance before I felt myself spiralling too far out of control. Mrs Jones shouted more and more corrections at me, and the more I tried the more I got it wrong. Everything was too loud, too bright, too fast and I couldn't think properly. She stopped the music and placed her hands on her hips menacingly.