T-minus 12 days until christmas and i still haven't got anyone any gift, and i've also yet to talk to Ethan.
I decided to text him to meet me at the mall.
I waited in the food court for twenty minutes before i started to give up, he didn't want to see me, Just as i was about to leave i saw him walking towards me. i smiled and waited for him to sit down.
"What do you want?" he asked harshly. i resisted the urge to reply back with sass. "To talk" i swallowed my pride and watched him. "about?" "us, well what happened" his brows furrowed, "there isn't a us. i waited for you, months actually. you never showed, you changed your number and i never heard anything, is this your way of just getting back with Chase?" he slurred his words, was he drunk? "no, jesus i don't know what i'm doing Ethan. i wanted you and i still do but all i do is fuck things up. You don't deserve that." i choked back the tears. "I didn't care, i wanted you. Don't give me the it's not you it's me bullshit." he leaned forward and rested his face on his palm. "but it's true" i muttered. "fucks sake" he nearly slammed his fist on the table. "but i guess whatever you says goes right? you didn't even talk to me! you didn't fucking give me a chance. i would've gone with you and we'd of been happy!" i could practically smell the alcohol on his breath. "you've been drinking?" i questioned in a low whisper. "Maia dumped me for her ex Kylan. so yeah i had some drinks" he slurred again. "i'm sorry" i replied, and not just for their breakup but everything else i've ever done to him. "Whatever" he slurred again, "did you drive here?" i questioned concerned. "Yup, it was fun, you know? trying to stay in the lines. i failed." he chuckled before leaning back in his seat. "Ethan are you kidding me?" i nearly shouted at him. he furrowed his brows "it's not like you even care so stop acting like it" he wiped a tear from his face, "i do care and that's why i left. i didn't want to hurt you anymore" i replied as i watched the tears continuously fall from his blood shot eyes. "but you did, when you left, you broke me. i couldn't go to school for months and then you come back like nothing happened." he paused and looked back at me, "that part hurt the most" i stood up immediately, "get up now. i'm taking you home to sober you up" i wiped the tears from my face before looking back at him. he stood up as well, i wiped the tears dripping down his face and pulled him along.
"So you're not really in love with Chase are you?" he questioned as we walked towards the car park. i stopped and turned, "no i'm not" i replied and he smiled. "You love someone else" he replied with a goofy drunk smile on his face. "Yes" we finally reached my car and i was unlocking when he spoke up. "who?" he replied with a pout on his face. "you" is all i said before i got in and started the car up. He plopped down in seat, i turned and looked at him, tears fell down his face as he sat there. "Why are you crying?" i asked with a frown on my face. "Because I love you too but you won't let me" My face heated up, even with the ac on full blast my face was on fire. "I don't want you to get hurt" He slammed his fist onto the dash, "I don't fucking care! I want you!" He screamed. "let's go, get out of here and just be together! somewhere no one could find us, where we'd be happy." He had fully turned towards me, "Where'd we go? what about your brother?" i questioned. i don't want to hurt anyone anymore. "I'll tell him we're leaving for a while, you tell your brothers and then we leave. right after graduation" He smiled big. His eyes were begging me to just say yes, i stared at him for a while before turning and shaking me head, a smile plastered on my face. "okay"
And that's what started the rest of our lives, even after everything i did to hurt him, he stayed.
- did i just end this book? mhmmm who knows
