fragile ∾ pjm + myg

chapter fourteen

The younger boy sighed, muttering a low agreement before sliding down a bit on the couch, already knowing what was coming next and not liking it even one bit. It wasn't fair; it just wasn't. His eyes were set down again, directed at his hands but not really focusing on it, just having something to look at while Namjoon talked.

"Jimin, I can't even begin to express how sorry I am and I know that you hate hearing that, but I can't change how I feel. I, we, as a group, we were supposed to be there for each other and I wasn't for you and I let it get this far because I thought you would come to us if you needed but I was wrong, and I'm sorry," Namjoon was talking in a fast pace that if Jimin wasn't paying attention he would have problems catching up, but he was hearing every word the leader was saying and each one of them was creating a new cut inside his heart. He did this, he made his leader feel like it was his fault when it wasn't, it was all Jimin's. It was his fault, it was all on him; but now because he had been stupid and weak everyone had to suffer with him, "Please remember that we're here for you now, stop pushing us out, Jimin, please, we're your friends. We're supposed to be family, yeah? So trust your family. We're here for you."

The young singer couldn't find it in himself to give a verbal answer, so he just nodded, avoiding have to look up and show Namjoon how much his eyes were filled with tears. Pathetic, he thought while the leader dropped one arm around his small and bony shoulders and pulled him in for a hug; you're pathetic, Park Jimin. It was borderline ironic how Jimin just couldn't bear the thought of talking about his feelings but he always told others how much he was there to listen to them; could he get even more hypocrite? Probably not. So he hid his face in Namjoon's hoodie and finally allowed his tears to run down his cheek and stain the dark material with salty water, wondering if he ever was gonna be able to forgive himself for all the pain he was causing the ones he loved, the people he cherished the most.

The answer was no.

⍉

The boy had just gotten home from his latest appointment with the psychiatrist when Taehyung walked out of the kitchen with a bowl of food on his hands after hearing the front door close loudly, eyes slightly wide as he stared at the older boy while Jimin took his shoes off and dropped them by the side of everyone's else with much more force than needed, his frustration getting the best of him. She had changed his meds out of nowhere and Jimin had to endure a forty minute scolding about bottling up his feelings and how it wasn't gonna take him anywhere. That he should talk, that he couldn't get better if he didn't. Easier said than done, now wasn't it; because every single time Jimin opened his mouth all he seemed to do was fuck up everything so it was better for everyone if he didn't. Hurting himself by keeping his feelings inside was better than hurting everyone else by letting him know how he felt and Jimin was done already with hurting the ones he cared about.

He was just so fucking done.

"Chim, are you okay?" Taehyung's voice broke him out of his train of thoughts, his head snapping up so fast that he was surprised his neck didn't break. Maybe it would've been better if it had, "Your face is all red."

"I'm fine, Tae," he mumbled, trying to keep the irritated tone out of his voice the best he could, almost ripping his coat while he was taking it off, walking towards the corridor with the intent of getting to his room as fast as possible so he could scream at his pillow in rage all he wanted, "I'll be in my room."

"Jimin, wait!" the young singer made a move and grabbed Jimin's wrist as the boy was passing through him, settling the bowl down on the glass table in front of the TV, "Are you sure you're oka-"