fragile ∾ pjm + myg

chapter seven

trigger warnings: suicide attempt, graphic descriptions of vomiting, blood.  

In all honesty, Yoongi really should've seen it coming.

He really tried; tried to believe that both him and Taehyung were enough. He thought he had time, thought he could do it. He had hoped for the best, hoped he could be enough help for Jimin, could only hope that he had some fucking time , time to convince the younger that it was for the best talking to the rest of the members, time to get Jimin to really open up to him. Maybe that was his mistake after all; thinking he had all the time in the world. Stupid, stupid, fucking stupid. Was Yoongi really that naïve? Had life not teached him enough about how the universe liked fucking everything up? Apparently not, or this wouldn't be happening. None of this should be happening and he couldn't help but feel that it was his fault. He could've – should've – done something, even if it would end up with Jimin mad at him. At least he would get help. At least he would be okay.

Yoongi's mistake was trusting the boy too much, but above that, his mistake was trusting himself too much.

⍉

One of Jimin's many problems was how hopeful he could get, and how fast that hope could be turned into shards on the ground. The young boy had this distant, silly hope that maybe going home in the one week vacation they were given would do him good; would turn him back to that hyped, happy boy he used to be. That was until he called his mom and she unfortunately had to tell him that both his parents and his younger brother were on a family trip, and that they were really sorry they couldn't be home for Jimin.

"Of course they can't," the bleached haired boy mumbled as soon as his finger hit the red button on the screen, ending the call with his mom after an "I love you" exchange and promises of seeing each other on Chuseok, "Who would fucking want it anyway." He threw the phone on his bed and glared at it like it was at fault for everything wrong with him, hatred and annoyance swimming on it. Some part of him hoped his mom would call back, saying it was all a joke and of course he could come home. But it never did and Jimin only snapped out of it when gentle knocks were able to be heard on the wooden door leading to his room, making him turn around quickly only to be met with Seokjin's unwavering stare directed at him.

"Is everything okay?" the eldest asked with a hint of uncertainty in his voice, "You're looking at your phone like it tried to kill you."

I wish it did. "Yeah, don't worry, hyung. Was just talking with my parents about some plans." the lie made its way through his teeth with ease, Jimin's mind already programmed to lie about what he felt. It came naturally to him now, the fear of burdening anyone with all the drama he caused too much for him to speak up about his real feelings. They didn't need to know he wasn't going home, he could just stay in the dorm all week and pretend he came back early when the others started to arrive. It was gonna be easy, except for the fact he was gonna be all alone for a whole week for the first time in years. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Jimin asked himself if it was really a good idea to be alone right now; to be utterly alone with his thoughts, with absolutely no one to snap him out of it. He opened his mouth, hesitant, wondering if telling Seokjin about his parents was a good choice when Taehyung and Jeongguk's laughter echoed through their hallway, excitedly talking about their plans with their respective families.

Jimin's words died on his tongue, being swallowed all the way down his throat so it could never make it up again. He couldn't ruin this; he couldn't ruin their happiness. Jimin was gonna be fine; he had to be. So when Seokjin asked him if he was sure with a gentle smile, Jimin nodded, quickly going back to his joyful persona, the one he was putting so much effort into molding so nobody would suspect a thing. No one needed to know what truly was going on inside his head, and if he had a say on it, they would never find out.