fragile ∾ pjm + myg

chapter fourteen

Jimin was lazily sprailed on the living room couch when he heard footsteps walking in the corridor, but didn't bother to turn and look, eyes still glued to the TV but not really paying attention when a voice snapped him out of it.

"Jimin?" Namjoon's voice was uncertain, like he wasn't sure what he was really about to do, but still followed through anyway with whatever he had in mind. Jimin didn't really moved, just slowly peeled his eyes off the screen to stare at the leader that had just appeared in the end of the hallway. Namjoon gulped under Jimin's unfocused gaze, "Can we talk?"

The singer blinked at him once, "Of course, hyung," Jimin sighed under his breath, finally moving from his position to a half-sitting, half-lying one, his neck propped up against a cushion as he followed Namjoon with his eyes, the leader taking a seat by the other end of the couch, a way too awkward distance for him to be from one of his members. They just looked at each other for a few seconds, the older boy apparently a little lost now that he was here, so Jimin just blinked at him, "Is everything okay, Namjoon hyung?"

"Yes," the answer came way too quick so the younger arched his eyebrows at the leader who was now avoiding holding his gaze. Namjoon cleared his throat before speaking again, "I mean, yes, everything's fine, Jimin, don't worry. I just... Wanted to talk to you. Can we talk?"

At that Jimin got up from his position, sitting on his knees on the couch and crawling on it until he could drop right beside Namjoon, their bodies touching; how it used to be, and how it was supposed to be. If everyone wanted to treat him like a glass vase, fine, but he wasn't about to just sit there and stare at them doing it. He wasn't gonna break everytime they talked to him, and they were gonna learn how to deal with that. They didn't care before, why do they do now?

"I answered that the first time, hyung, but for that you need to actually, you know, talk," Jimin's tone might have been harsh, but Namjoon sighed anyway, muttering an apology under his breath that made Jimin's annoyance decrease at the embarrassed expression on the leader's face, dropping his face low and staring down at his hands, playing with the sleeves of his shirt, "It's tiring being treated like you're made of porcelain, hyung, that's all. I'm not gonna break if you guys look at me, you know, I'm not that fragile."

"I know, Jimin, I know," the elder sighed, running his hands through his hair, making an ever bigger mess of it; it looked like he did that often now and somehow Jimin was aware that that was his fault and guilt started to grow in his heart, but he pushed it to the back of his mind, ignoring the increasing burn in his chest for the moment; he could deal with it later, "I'm sorry if we're making you feel like that, it's just that... You have to understand that we don't know what to do. We don't know how to act around you anymore."

"Like you always did?" Jimin suggested, a small smile etched on his lips as he looked back up at Namjoon, "I'm still me, Namjoon hyung, I'm still Jimin. I'm not made of glass, I won't break if you guys just talk to me. Please just stop acting like this, it..." he stopped, the words getting stuck on his throat before he sighed, forcing them out before he could think about it, "It hurts, I guess. Being the cause of all of this; it's not helping, it's just making me feel worse everyday because I know it's all my fault." he decided it was enough at that, snapping his lips shut before he could regret it even more than he already was. He hated being weak, unable to keep his goddamn mouth shut for once. Jimin broke their eye contact, choosing to stare at his hands once again fidgeting with the end of his sleeve. Regret was already filling his chest and he gulped, the idea of just bolting to his room and not leaving for the next years a very pleasant one, but stayed for the sake of respect for the leader.

The older boy didn't answer for a few seconds and Jimin was too scared to look at him to gauge his reaction, so he just waited for him to speak again, "I'll try to change that, but... That's not the reason I came here to talk to you," he explained, turning his body so he was now facing Jimin, who had finally looked up again to stare at Namjoon through his lashes, "I wanted to apologize, again," Jimin was ready to cut the elder off and protest but he lifted a hand, stopping him before he could start, "I already know what you're about to say, but hear me out first, Jimin, please."