The Adventures of Fonttale Baby Papyrus!

Good Lookin' Out!

"Catch da' baby!"

"papyrus no!"

"NYEH HEE HEE HEE HEE!" Ignoring his brother Papyrus leaped from one of the tallest rocks in Waterfall, hitting the water below just inches away from Undyne.

SPLASH!

"AHH! DAMN IT PAPYRUS, YOU LITTLE FREAK! YOU ALMOST HIT ME!"

"*Cough Cough* You's SUPPOSE to catch da' baby, stink head!"

"WELL YOU'RE ABOUT TO CATCH THIS SPEAR! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?!"

"SORRY UNDYNE!" called Sans from the top of the rock. He never planned on letting Papyrus jump from such a large height or to even BE on it. He just appeared there randomly as he tried teleporting to Waterfall and his brother apparently thought it was a great chance to scare him and whoever happened to be below them at the time.

It's so slippery up here...

"Why you no catch da' baby Fish Lady? Babies can't swim, erybody knows dat! You gots to look after me, otherwise I's gonna drown and die and float down river like a doggy turd-"

"YOU ARE A DOGGY TURD!"

"Noooo, I's a baby."

"YOU'RE A TURD AND YOU SUCK!"

Sans began to carefully climb down the slippery rock whilst the two continued to argue. He knew Undyne wouldn't (or rather couldn't), harm Papyrus seriously, but it was still difficult to concentrate on his footing with her constantly screaming.

There were times when he actually feared her voice would cause a cave-in and he often felt sorry for her mother, but right now the only pity he had was for her.

She's so violent and gets angry so easily...I bet she doesn't have too many friends. If she did, she'd probably drop Papyrus like a rock, but right now he's all she's got.

She probably knows it too.

"You bedder be nice to me Fish Lady. If you doesn't I's gonna be loud and anoxious like you when I gets big!"

"'Anoxious...?' Anox...ob..obnox...obnoxious? OBNOXIOUS?! DID YOU JUST CALL ME OBNOXIOUS?!"

"chill out undyne, he's just trying to make you mad."

"YOU STINKIN' LITTLE PUNK!!"

SPLASH!

SPLASH!

Undyne reached out to strangle Papyrus, but he quickly summoned his Wingdings, far from surprised. The two wrestled in the water while Sans looked on worriedly, hoping for the best.

He kept telling himself to step in...that stopping the fight was the right and safer thing to do for his brother, but as always he was still. As terrible as it was and made him feel, he found he enjoyed watching his baby brother defend himself so skillfully. It was almost as if the baby bones was BORN to fight, like it was in his DNA.

How does he DO that? How does he know where and when she's gonna try to hit him?

Papyrus sat perfectly balanced on the gaster blaster he had summoned earlier as a flotation device, smacking Undyne's hands away with his Wingdings and smiling the same derpy smile that always seemed to be plastered on his face, even during the worst of situations.

He's not even LOOKING at her...

"WHAT'S GOING ON OVER THERE?"

Uh oh.

A monster emerged from the Dump entrance, carrying an armful of junk. "Hey you two, stop playing in the river; that's our water supply you're splashing in!"

"GET LOST OLD MAN! YOU'RE NOT MY DAD! I DO WHAT I WANT!"

"Ugh it's you," the monster rolled his eyes. "Shouldn't you be beating up little kids somewhere? Oh wait you are, my bad."

"Shouldn't you be bench pressing something? Oh wait you CAN'T!" shouted Undyne angrily.

"you know each other?"

"Yeah, she goes to the same gym as my son and I. She thinks she's hot shit just cuz she beat me ONCE at arm-wrestling-"

"I beat you AND Aaron!"

"You got lucky-"

"*pfft!* why are you challenging little girls to wrestling matches dude?"

"I'm not-"

"Dat's weird," said Papyrus frowning. "Don't pay wit him no more kay' Fish Lady?"

"IT'S ARM-WRESTLING."

"Don't pay wit him no more."

Aaron's dad glared at the baby bones. "You're lucky my hands are full."

"You's lucky I don't tell my daddy you's perving on mah fish friend..."

"I'm not afraid of your dad, kid."

"You should be, he strong as hell! Imma tell my daddy and he gonna use da' science and he gonna turn yo' bottom to sushi-"

"What-EVER!"

"Then erybody gonna call you sushi-butt."

"I'LL KICK YOUR DAD'S ASS!"

"dude, what's your problem?!"

"It's the steroids," whispered Undyne. "He gets mad out of nowhere sometimes and gets thrown out of the gym a lot. Aaron said his mom left because of him. She went out for protein shakes and never came back."

"oh jeez..."

He's like an adult Undyne then. Is this her future...?

"I would never take steroids. They're for cheaters and they make your balls small."

"WHERE'S YOUR DAD LIVE?! I'LL SMASH HIS HEAD IN!"

"Mine are already super small, like, microscopic; which is good because when people kick me they always miss them, but I don't want em' to disappear completely you know? Cause' I might need them later or something."

"uh huh." Sans wasn't really listening at this point. He kept thinking about what Undyne might be like as an adult. As far as he knew, Papyrus was her only friend aside from himself. When she got older would she find more friends or...?

What if she never does? What if she has to marry Papyrus because no one else likes her? He's not exactly loyal...

"hey undyne..."

"Yeah?"

"i want you to know...if papyrus becomes a player and decides to leave you when you two get married like aarons mom...i'll help you look after the baby."

"..."

"no matter what."

"...Go home Sans."

Special shout out to cyanidecupcake for the adorable artwork!