everything, everthing

part one

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i canceled game night again, so naturally mom comes to check up on me.

"so," she says. her figure rests on the door frame and her arms are crossed.

"i'm sorry mom, i just don't feel that great - mentally not physically." i clarify just in case she might call nurse evil. i keep picturing that mystery girl touching and talking to farkle. the way her arm would rest on his shoulders or how he would place his arm on her waist. i shudder at the thought.

"you know, i was an only child. very lonely when it was just me," mom tried to tell me. so she only came here because she thought i was lonely? no, i am alone. i have no one nor can i go outside. what does she expect from me?

"maybe this could help?" she pulls out a framed photograph of the three of us- mom, my dad, and i. we're in europe and the eiffel tower hangs in the background. dad was everything a woman wanted. he was in great shape and a genuine smile covered his face. mom was dressed nicely as though she was meeting dad's parents for the first time. i was only a baby then and i was outside.

"how old was i," i question.

"only five months," she smiles. the photo shows mom and dad looking at each other, they had love in their eyes while o stared at the camera. "it was a month before he left,"

i hold the frame close to my chest. what would my family be like if dad didn't leave? would he and mom still have loved each other? would he love still love me for being sick?

mom's face is covered in tears as she leans in to embrace me.

"i love you, remember that okay?" mom reminds me. she and i are all we have for each other. not even lovers would stay. not dad or farkle.

because they end up finding someone better but then they're going to realize they left someone who was the best for them.

-

monday, 6:45 pm
messages between isa ✎ and maya ✐

isa ✎
he has a girlfriend. he introduced her to us at dinner

isa ✎
that mystery girl. she dyed her hair brunette

maya  ✐
Oh.

maya  ✐
So he moved on?

isa ✎
i dont think so

isa ✎
that girl looks just like you. her name is sarah and she likes photography too. in my opinion it's just that dumbass's way of trying to cope with the fact that he loves you and can't be with you

maya ✐
Loves?

isa ✎
you love him too, dont deny it

maya ✐
And if I do?

maya ✐
He's dating someone else and I can't tell him no because I love him. What would we do? We can't be together

isa ✎
why not?

maya  ✐
It would be too hard for him

isa ✎
but isn't it worth it?

isa ✎
for love?

READ AT 7:05 PM

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monday, 7:08 pm
messages between sparkles ☼ and mayflower ❀

sparkles ☼
lab partner

READ AT 7:10 PM

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