Tokyo Ghoul x Avengers One Shots

Embarrassing Photos

3rd Person's P.O.V. 

"Guys! You wouldn't believe what I found!" Clint runs into the room, holding a picture in one hand. He was panting heavily and his grin was so wide that his cheeks were beginning to hurt. The rest of the Avengers stopped what they were doing to see what all the fuss was about.

"What did you find?" Bruce asked, curiously. Clint just shoved the picture into Bruce's hands instead of answering. "Tony, is this you... wearing Captain America pyjamas?"

That got everyone's attention and they all jumped up, wanting to see the picture. In Tony's case, burn it before the others could see it.

"Seriously?"

"Now that's something I want to see."

"Woah!"

"Let me see!"

"Give that back!" Tony demanded, face growing a deep shade of red. Thor lifted him in a bear hug, "Thor, lemme go!" Tony yells as he fights Thor's grip while all the others members saw the picture and began to comment on them.

"Wow," was all that Steve could say, he felt slightly touched that Tony was a fan of his even if it was in childhood.

"Is that a Captain America teddy bear?" Natasha teased, enjoying how much Tony was squirming. 

"Aww, how adorable," Kaneki cooed, an evil look on his face. He was clearly mocking Tony.

"Screw off, Barbie lover!" Tony snapped, irate. Kaneki kicked Tony in the stomach for that comment. He was beginning to forget that whole Barbie fiasco but Tony brought back the horrifying memories. 

"F*** you, Stark," Kaneki responds, cracking his finger. He sounded calm but there was a dangerous look in his eyes which promised pain. Steve grabs Kaneki before he could do any more harm to Tony.

"Calm down, you two," Steve advised before turning to Tony, saying, "there's nothing to be embarrassed about Tony, I think it's cute."

"Like I give a damn about what a show monkey thinks," Tony grumbles after Thor puts him down.

"Come on Tony," Bruce intervenes, "everyone has embarrassing photos of themselves, not just you."

"Yeah, I got one of Kaneki on my phone!" Clint announces, laughing.

"What?" Kaneki questions in disbelief before moving to attack Clint. "Where the hell did you get a picture of me?! What it is?!" Clint runs around the room while Kaneki chased him, he skillfully dodged and evaded Kaneki at every turn, making the chase fruitless.

"Thor, get Kaneki," Natasha orders which Thor did.

"Thor, you p****! If you don't let me go right now I'll f****** tear your head off then shove it so far up straight up your b**** a** so you'll be c******* blood out your c*** for a month! I won't stop there as well! I'll rip out your f****** your decaying b**** and d*** and let the m*****f****** crows pick at them! "

"Kaneki! Language!" Steve yells out, horrified. The rest looked a little green at Kaneki's cursing spree.

"C-could we just see the picture?" Thor mumbles, nervously, tightening his grip on Kaneki.

"No!"

"Sure," Clint answers, showing the picture on his phone. The photo was taken from a bottom angle, Kaneki, with black hair, was beet red and was yelling in shock as he used one hand to hold his maid dress down to prevent a panty shot while the other held a tray of coffee which he obviously lost his grip on. There was a strange purple-haired man with a nosebleed in the background. (1)

"Wow," the group said in unison.

"You look cute Kaneki," Steve admits, blushing slightly as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Have you considered a sex change?" Natasha asks, she sounded serious instead of teasing.

"What happened to this cutie pie?!" Tony questioned, yelling incredulously. 

"Puberty, most likely," Bruce theorised, sounding disappointed.

Thor dropped Kaneki and stumble over his words as he apologised, "I-I-I must apologise... I had no id-idea you were a-a lady."

As usual, Kaneki blew a fuse, "Where the f*** did you get that, Barton! Was it Touka?! It was Touka, wasn't it?!" Kaneki began to curse out the Ukaku user but Clint quickly quelled his suspicions.

"Nope," Clint said, popping the 'p,' "it was your sister."

"Hinami?" Kaneki questions in disbelief before cracking another finger and threatened Clint, "how dare you accuse Hinami, you depraved a******. Count your blessings bird-brain, because there will be nothing left of you once I've dealt with you."

Clint ran for his life as a being way worse than the Devil hunted him down. The group didn't dare help Clint instead they stared at the picture a little longer till Tony took it and sent the picture to all their phones.

"I didn't know Kaneki had a sister," Steve said to the group.

"To be fair, we know nothing of him since he doesn't share well," Natasha adds.

"How many more pictures could we get from her?" Tony asked, impishly. He rubbed his hands together evilly as he thought of more schemes for revenge.

"You cannot be thinking of anything good with that look Tony," Natasha explains, raising a brow. 

"Should we not help him?" Thor asked as he heard more crashes and screaming from Clint.

"..."

"Nah!" They all said in unison before going about their everyday lives. Tony still wanted to mess with Kaneki so stole his phone and called Hinami, asking for anymore embarrassing photos of Kaneki. She was hesitant but Touka, hearing the conversation, immediately started to send Tony pictures of Kaneki.

Kaneki quickly found out and nearly strangled Tony to death had it not been for Steve. Footage was leaked of him assaulting Tony Stark and Kaneki was hailed a National Hero by Senator Stern, Justin Hammer and all those who found Tony to be a prick.

Too this day, the Avengers have no idea why Kaneki was awarded a medal but the group chalked it up to as the world being full of weirdos. It wasn't the strangest that has ever happened to the team, not even in their top 10.

(1) I wrote a chapter of Kaneki in a maid dress in 'He's Too Innocent!' This scene doesn't exist though.