Jaspar One Shots (boyxboy)✔️

Happier(Part One)

Dear Joe,

Here I am writing you another letter this is number twenty eight since you left. I know it's a bit ridiculous of me to write to you but I enjoy it. I saw you yesterday walking down the street you were with some guy that I think your sister introduced us to last year. I can't even remember his name not that I really care to at this point. It's only been a month since we ended things you look really good I followed behind a few steps. I just wanted a better glimpse of you I saw him whisper something in your ear that made you laugh. You look so much happier than you did at the end of our relationship.

I'm sorry for the way I hurt you I know that nobody has ever done what I did in the way I did it. I made you feel as if you didn't matter as much as you should of. I kept pushing you aside and not give you my time like you deserved. I'm glad I suppose that you aren't hurting no more although he can never love you like I do. I won't take it personally if you have decided to finally move on, I was a shit person to you in the end. You look much happier everyone said I'll be alright and be able to feel freed one day. I'm happy with you even tho it never seemed like it I don't know what got into me.

I've been sat in our room most of the time all theses memories of us together, the laughs and late night conversations. The two of us wrapped in the blankets arms holding each other close as we whispered our random thoughts. I miss that I know it's my fault you're gone I completely get that. I started drinking not excessively but a bit more than before. It kinda helps a bit although I would much rather just be with you. I keep telling myself not to go after you because without me you seem so much happier. That's all I want is for you to be safe and happy even if I'm not the one causing your happiness.

Whenever someone asks if I'm alright I smile and tell them I'm fine I would rather deal with the pain of losing you alone then have someone try to help. I figured you would fall for someone else I know that's going to happen. I'm still in love with you Joe and even if you don't ever come back I'll still be here waiting for you..

Caspar x