Dirty Little Secret (Patrick Kane)

Twenty Eight

Patrick

The Olympics didn't turn out in my favor. The US left without a medal, but outside of the hockey aspect of being there the trip was amazing. Russia was so cool and I enjoyed exploring new things with my girlfriend and my family. After all that's happened recently that was a much needed get away from life.

Once we got back Emerson helped me move into her house. It wasn't that hard, it was just a lot of clothes and things I've collected and haven't sent back home to Buffalo. I have to admit, I was a little nervous about making such a big boy move. This wasn't just me moving in with my girlfriend, it was me changing everything that a year ago I was adamant I wouldn't do. And there's a reason for me not wanting to be in such a serious relationship.

I'm not scared of a long term relationship per say, it's not that I don't want to be with Emerson for the rest of my life. I would be stupid as fuck to think there's someone out there as amazing or lovely as her. Don't think I don't thank god every day that he threw us together all those months ago and somehow, someway, we found a way to make it work out.

But it's not even like we're moving into a apartment. It's a house, it's going to be my home from now until forever. I just lost someone who meant the world to me, if I lose my home and her I would actually lose my shit. I'm not scared of being with someone for the rest of my life, I'm scared of hurting her and having to live with that forever. I don't want to mess this up, I don't want to make a mistake that hurts her. If i fuck up I can't just not see her, I'm living with her now. I'll have to look at her and I will be reminded that I hurt her, that scares the hell out of me. I don't want who I used to be get in the way who I want to be. Who I can be with her beside me. Every part of me knows that this relationship is very serious and I would move in eventually. There's just so much in unsure if at this point and I don't want to find out what happens when things go wrong.

I carry the last box in and set it down by the couch. I look around and take a deep breath, this is my life now.

"What are you thinking so hard about? You're going to hurt yourself" Emerson teases coming down the stairs.

"Nothing" I laugh.

"Patrick, there's a lot going through your brain. And it's never nothing" she insists.

"I don't know. It's just weird to be in a home again. I've been in a bachelor pad since 2008, this is kinda scary" I admit.

"It is, I'll admit that. Never would I thought that I could make two homes in Chicago that makes leaving this city so hard, yet here we are. This place has more space than purpose at this point and it's kinda intimidating. But I want to show you something" she says as she grabs my hand. She pulls me upstairs and to the end of the hallway. She opens the door and I was honestly shocked.

"How" I gasp as I look around. All my awards and achievements sat on the wall like when I was a kid. Things I don't even remember where they came from.

"When your Grandpa passed they cleaned out his house and all this stuff was in there. I asked your dad if I could bring it back so I can make this place your home too and surprisingly he said yes" she laughs.

"Baby, this is so sweet of you. Thank you" I say pulling her into a kiss. We break apart and she smiles up at me.

"So I did good" she asks and I laugh.

"You did amazing" I assure her.

We get the last box unpacked and I didn't feel as uneasy as I did earlier. All doubt I had flew out of my head. This is where I'm supposed to be, this is who I'm supposed to be with. There was no denying it.

"Patrick" Emerson calls out and I look around.

"Where are you" I ask.

"The bedroom" she yells.

I walk upstairs and go into the second door on the right. It was dark so I flip the lights on. Emerson laid in the bed in her black Victoria's Secret outfit and I swallow hard.

"What's happening" I ask.

"I got you a little welcome home present" she claims and I smile big.

I climb onto the bed and over to her. She scoots herself against the wall and I press her up against it with my lips. She pulls me close and I feel her smile from beneath me.

"Is it bad that I have no idea how to get this off" I ask and she giggles.

"Well let me help you" she encourages.

By the time the sun sets on this beautiful day I was more than happy to be here. The hockey team was doing good, I was doing good, and I was feeling more than good.

I walk downstairs after a great nap because even though it wasn't a game day it was still good to get in a nap. It was mid March and almost time for playoffs and the fun stuff. I couldn't wait but at the same time I could. I could really get used to this place being my home and it always being this great.

I go into the kitchen and find Emerson cooking in her underpants and one of my blackhawks shirts. She struts around the kitchen dancing to whatever song was on the radio softly singing to herself.

"I didn't know you could sing" I admit and she stops. She smiles when she sees it's me as I sit at the island to enjoy the show.

"I was in pitch perfect, I had to learn how to" she defends.

"Is there anything you can't do" I ask only kind of joking.

"I cannot sew for the life of me. I tried, Trust me I tried. And I ended up fucking up even worse" she claims.

"Okay, so no sewing. But every other time you're perfect" I claim.

"There's no such thing" she insists.

"Yeah it does. I see it with my own two eyes daily" I defend.

"Lies" she smirks.

"Nope. Your hair is literally always perfect, never a strand out of place. Even the messiest of buns look hot on you. Your eyes literally sparkle every time you look at me, it removes every bit of doubt I've ever had. You're smile brightens even the darkest of days and I know for a fact I wouldn't have been able to get past this month and some without you. You might not be perfect, but you're perfect for me" I insist.

"Aww that was so sweet. Now I feel bad for spitting in your food" she teases.

"You suck" I say and she laughs. She sets my plate in front of me and it looked like fettuccini Alfredo with shrimp.

"I didn't know you could cook" I admit.

"I never had time to. I always had somewhere to be. And now all I need to be is by your side."