Dirty Little Secret (Patrick Kane)

Eighteen

Emerson

After watching Patrick play the other night I flew back home. I picked my baby up from my friend Natalie's place and hung out with her some. We catch up and I tell her what I'm allowed to and then some. I didn't realize how much I missed being in the Windy City until I got back.

After a while I finally mustered up some courage and swallow my fears down I go home to my mom and dads.

I knock on the door and my dad answers fairly quickly.

"Emerson! I didn't know you were coming by" he smiles before pulling me into a hug.

"I couldn't leave here without dropping by" I admit.

"Please, come on in" he says and I nod.

I walk in and my childhood hits me in the face. All the memories flood over me as I look around.

"Where's mom" I ask.

"She's back in the bedroom. She didn't want to get up today" he explains.

"Does she... you know" I ask.

"Yeah, she remembers you. I don't know how much she remembers though" he explains and I nod.

I go back there and find her sitting in the dark. I go over and sit on the bed next to her breaking her stare into oblivion.

"Little Emmy, is that you" she asks.

"Yeah momma, it's me" I smile.

"I've missed you baby girl. How is school going" she asks and I give a weak smile. I didn't have the heart to tell her I hadn't been in school for two years.

"It's good mom, you know, learning every day" I smile.

"I'm so proud of you. You're going to do some amazing things" she assures me.

"Thanks" I sigh.

"Have you found a nice boy yet" she asks and I smile.

"Yeah, I have" I admit.

"Well, spill it" she encourages and I laugh.

"He's my age. He plays for the Chicago Blackhawks" I start.

"Oh you love that team" she remembers.

"I do. He's really good too. Unlike anyone I've ever seen. He can do things people in the hall of fame could only dream of" I say.

"What does he look like" she asks.

"He has crazy curly blonde hair. He always lets it spill out of his backward baseball cap he always wears. I keep trying to make him let his curls fly free but he says they're annoying but I think it's cute. He has these amazing blue eyes, deeper than the sea and brighter than the sun. They're killer, every time they look at me I feel like I'm floating. He has a button nose and a sharp jaw line. And his smile, oh it just makes me melt inside. I do the craziest things just to see it. It warms my heart seeing him smile and knowing I'm the reason it's there" I explain.

"Well he sounds great. Do you have a picture" she asks.

I pull out my phone and choose a picture of me and him in Paris. It was the one of him on my back looking down at me as I looked at him. It was weird because I was holding his so awkwardly but it was my favorite picture of us. That night was perfect in so many ways and I felt like this picture captured that.

"This is us at fashion week" I say showing her the picture and she gasps.

"Oh honey, you guys look so happy together" she squeals. "Tell me about him" she begs.

"Well he's pretty amazing. He has a knack for details, listens to every word I say and shows me he's listening. Every time he looks at me I smile, I can't help it. He doesn't have to say a word for me to feel loved, I just know. He doesn't look at me as a model or a actress, he sees my flaws and accepts them. He doesn't see me as what the media paints me, he sees the real me. The me that loves to come home. The me that would rather walk than take a limo. The me that wants to make a difference in someone's life, kinda like what he's done for me. There's no one I've met that's like him, that's so good at what he does and wants to get better. He can have fun doing what he's doing, never lets the pressure get to him. And he loves me so much, I can feel it in the way he holds me. Like he's afraid to let go. I'm afraid to let go too" I admit.

"Can I tell you a secret" she asks.

"Sure" I encourage.

"What you have... you can never find it again. That's true love. Don't ever let go of him. Hold him close and never miss a chance to remind him how much you love him" she says.

"Of course" I smile.

I let her sleep and find my dad cooking in the kitchen. I join him and help out. It's not that I didn't know how to cook, I just don't like cleaning up after so I usually buy it premade. But my dad and I used to cook all the time and I missed it.

"How is she doing" he asks.

"She's tired, she went to bed" I tell him.

"Okay. And how are you doing" he asks.

"Getting there" I admit.

"I see you saw Patrick the other day" he says and I raise my eyebrow.

"How did you know that" I ask.

"Hey, I might behind a few years in technology but I always check up on you. And you seeing your ex is news" he explains.

"Right" I sigh.

"Hey, don't be so down. Obviously you two mean something important if you saw him on his birthday. You guys look happy as friends" he mentions.

"We are. But sometimes I just miss him so much. And mom forgot about him and I explained him to her and I realized I was missing out on so much. I really love him, and I don't know what to do to make this right" I admit.

"Sometimes two people have to fall apart before they realize how much they belong together. I know you come back here because this is your home, but home isn't where you are from. It's where you belong. So if you feel like you belong with Patrick, then eventually you will find your way home again, in his arms" he says.

"What if he doesn't want that? After what we've been through, with me leaving him all the time, what if he doesn't feel the same anymore" I whisper.

"Then he isn't the one for you. But I know that's not true because you guys have a obvious attraction to each other. Like two magnets you always find each other, and I'm sure you'll find each other again" he says.

"Thanks daddy" I sigh giving him a hug.

"Of course baby. Any time" he replies.

We finish up dinner and my mom finally comes out of the room. We sit around the dinner table and eat, cracking jokes every once in a while. It was nights like this when I realize how important family is.