Shattered

A night

I nearly fell from where I was sitting, which was the edge of the building, when I heard a loud thud by the door just behind me.

My eyes fell on hers and on cue my heart pounded hard against my chest. She stood there like a kid caught doing something she was told not to.

She is still in that black dress. If maybe I wasn't feeling like this at all towards her now? I would've dragged her back to my room and the rest would be history.

She shouldn't be here, but she is and she's been there the whole time, quietly watching and listening to me sing that song. She must've followed me earlier and I'm so stupid I didn't even felt someone following me up here.

I averted my eyes on her and turned my back again expecting her to walk away and leave me alone but this time she took my rude gesture as an invite to sit beside me and even placed a bottle of whiskey and two goblets in the small space between us.

"How'd you know I'm here?" I asked clenching my jaws. I need to be tough, I need to be strong and not let her see how broken I am although I know that she knows perfectly that I am beyond broken.

"I followed you." She answered sheepishly while looking at me.

I smirked and grabbed the bottle of whiskey and drank until I felt my throat burn.

"What do you want now?" I asked in a stern, firm voice still not looking at her.

"I want to talk to you Harry." Ahe whispered looking down on her hands.

"Are we not talking?" I looked at her but was fast enough to withdrew my gaze before her head shot up. I don't want to see her eyes because I know I'll give in.

"Not in this way Harry, not-"

"So how do you want me to talk to you then? Do you want me to uhm maybe be sweet, or act and talk to you like you didn't pretend that I don't exist for months and we didn't lose damn contact and you aren't fucking breaking my fucking heart again?! Tell me, how do you fucking want me to talk to you?" I finally looked at her when I said the last words.

And when I saw her, she looked defeated, I swear she somehow looked like me that night I broke down. Tears are streaming down her face, make up smudged, and her lips trembling. I felt guilty for my outburst.

"Harry, I- let me explain ple-please." She reached my hand and I just let her do it. I clenched my jaws once again fighting my tears back and my emotions from showing.

I didn't speak and just looked at her. I can't believe she got me again and I am actually waiting for her to elaborate everything. I'm falling for this again.

"I-I'm so sorry okay?" She sobbed. This is the first time I heard her apologize to me and I don't even know if this will be our last night together.

I let out humourless laugh and shook my head.

"Fuck sorry." I muttered under my breath. She's just looking at me tears still streaming down her face. I want to wipe it off but I can't.

"Why are you like this Harry? What did I do wrong? Is being happy wrong? Is falling inlove with someone new wrong? I know now why you are acting like this, It's because I'm happy with him. It's because I'm inlove with someone else." She said in a louder voice almost yelling it at me. I looked at her in disbelief and managed a small smile.

Did she really taught I'm being like this because of that lame ass reason? Does she really think I'm that low?

"How I hope it is." I took a swig on my glass of whiskey before facing her.

"It would have been much better if it's because of that lame ass reason, but no, no It's too far from that." I smirked fewling my heart ache more because of her insensitive remark.

"Then tell me, don't just leave me in the dark Harry."

"Like what you did with me? Oh no, I won't do that. You see Taylor I deserve the truth, I deserve a single fucking text that's saying 'I'm inlove with someone else, I don't want you in my life anymore' I fucking deserve even just that." My tears fell as soon as my voice started to crack.

Her once furious looking face softened with guilt.

"I didn't want to say that. I don't want to let you go like that. I thought I'd spare you from the pain. I thought in that way you wouldn't know." She bowed her head and stiffled a sob.

"So you decided to just keep me hanging? Is that your best Idea of sparing me from the pain? Goddamnit Taylor, do you even know how it feels to just keep wodering and hoping? All those sleepless nights I had spent thinking about us, while you are there under the covers with him and sleeping ever so peacefully? Do you even know how much I'm hurting right now, not because you are happy with him but because I can't unlove you. I can't unlove you, I can't let you go, I don't want to let you go while you? you fucking kept me hanging all alone. You didn't even tell me that you found your 'the one'. You didn't even tell me you've already moved on, and have already forgotten about me. You're so unfair Taylor. I love you but you are so unfair." My crying is uncontrollable, sobs louder than ever. Tears soaking my dress shirt.

She wrapped me in her arms and I never felt being home for so long. I melted right away.

"You never gave us a chance, you never gave me a chance." I whispered in the crook of her neck while feeling myself slowly calm down under her touch.

I never expected this night to be nothing but a night of me with my guitar but then she came intruding again, she came barging back into my life for awhile only to desert me again. But although many tears were shed, and hurtful words were said, A night like this, A night with her is more than enough to mend my broken pieces back.