fragile ∾ pjm + myg

chapter four

Jimin pretended not to feel the hot tears falling on his hair from time to time just like Yoongi pretended he couldn't feel how much Jimin was shaking.

They didn't talk, there was no need to. Yoongi knew no matter what he said, Jimin wouldn't listen, not right now. And Jimin's heart ached with the knowledge that his hyung was hurting because of him; he could actually count on just one hand how many times he had seen Yoongi cry. He just never expected to be the reason for one of them.

⍉

Taehyung was the next one to found out.

It was a pure unlucky – on Jimin's point of view – accident. His only mistake was forgetting that he was supposed to go to the studio with the younger boy to help him with a few steps on their new choreography that he was having a hard time following. It was far from what had happened with Yoongi, Jimin wasn't really doing anything; just staring at the full body mirror on his room, dressed only in his underwear. The cuts on his thighs having already almost fully healed, apart from the deep one that was still a bright pink colour; the ones on his hips were still forming scar tissue, the ones from just a few days ago still not properly healing since the fabric of his boxers was always covering it, stopping the wounds from healing like they should. Jimin was just purely staring at his reflection, the hatred for what he saw almost dripping out of his eyes, counting over and over again every single flaw he could find on his fucked up body. And God , he didn't think the list could ever come to an end. So, in all honesty, he wasn't doing anything that could compromise him.

But his best friend was never one to let things go when they were right in front of him, so when Jimin heard a strangled gasp behind him only to see Taehyung looking at him through the mirror he already knew he was fucked and there was absolutely no way he could get out of this situation. But he could try anyway, so that's what he was trying when he threw himself on the bed, hands grabbing his black t-shirt like his life depended on it, even when he heard the door closing behind him, he was still fighting to put the shirt on with trembling hands. Even when he heard the door also being locked - Taehyung knew him too well and he hated it - he didn't stop moving, didn't stop trying because this just couldn't be happening again, not again. When he finally got to put the shirt on he felt a hand being placed on his biceps and he jumped out of Taehyung's reach, pressing his body against the wall like his best friend's hand had burned him. Ignoring the pained look on the younger's eyes hurt him more than he ever could place it into words but he wasn't about to admit it.

"Jimin..."

"Please don't. Just leave it." all Jimin could do was beg with his words and his eyes for Taehyung to let it go, to turn around and leave the room like this didn't happen. But they both knew it did and that Taehyung wasn't leaving that bedroom anytime soon.

"I'm tired of leaving it, Jimin." there was more sadness in his tone than Jimin had ever heard coming from the younger and it hurt. "I've been trying to leave you alone because I was hoping you'd eventually talk to me but I can't keep doing this, Minnie, I can't leave it alone, especially not after this. I can't ignore it any longer, Jimin."

At that point Jimin was too mentally exhausted to even try and put up an argument so he just slumped against the wall, eyes and expression blank; Taehyung had already seen it, so fighting about it wouldn't make anyone feel happy. He suddenly felt extremely drained of everything, already tired from the barely started conversation he knew he was going to have with the younger boy who was looking at him with such sad, hurt eyes and something that seemed like pity that made Jimin want to punch him in the face. He didn't need pity, he never asked for it, he wasn't fucking up his own body so people could look at him with that sentiment in their eyes; he didn't want it, he hated it. He didn't deserve their pity. He never had and he never would; so he refused to stare at Taehyung any longer, focusing on the light carpet covering his bedroom floor; he could feel the younger's gaze burning holes on his face but he refused to stare back at him, refused to see that look on his eyes again, not again. But Taehyung wasn't one to give up so he slowly sat on the bed by Jimin's side, but still respecting his personal space.