Never Look Up (Frerard Dld sequel)

Chapter 26(The End)

"Frankie baby." I breathed out enduringly. I whispered it to him knowing the nickname would soothe his conscience. His statement felt heavy against my chest, causing me to reach out to him. He leaned into my touch, encouraging me as I wrapped an arm around his waist.

"Let's do it." A switch was flipped in him then, a coldness that's was meant to help him take a step forward into the school. A coldness that guides your body, not your emotions and it worried me. I followed him up the stairs, silence among the four of us as we went.
We opened the doors that led out onto the roof, the hinges rusted and weak.

Frank immediately reached for my hand, our fingers interlacing with ease. I could feel him tremble despite my firm grasp. So maybe he is still there. I let out a breath of relief.
We inched slowly against the concrete as if it was our tether to the planet; converse shoes married to the solid ground. "For the first time in a long time, I feel fearful." He spoke quietly, "It's the same fear that kept me from originally jumping off that ledge." Perhaps it's common sense, or the simple survival mechanism that is instilled in all of us to survive... or perhaps it's hope... the part of him that wanted to be saved and the part of me that would rather give their everything to another person rather than to death. I've never been more thankful for fear in my life.

The sun shined down intensely, reflecting off the snow in a painfully white light, causing me to keep my attention on Frank as he danced with fate four stories in the air. He lifted a shoe into the stone brick siding, swallowing thickly as he hoisted himself up. I used my free hand to stabilize him. Never letting go.

He peered down in a daze, mind drifting almost as if he imagined falling to his death. Due to the sudden grimace on his face, I can see It's not appealing now.
I helped him down, letting him fall easily into my open arms. "I can finally know the truth, this roof doesn't own me anymore, I'm free... and I know that now."

I think he was talking more to himself than to me, but at least he knows where he stands now. "You've always known that, Frankie."
He looked up at me coyly, before placing a soft kiss to my lips. "I love you." I breathed, running my thumb over his cheek assuringly.

His hands rested firmly on my hips, keeping me close, "and I you."
I hadn't realized Mikey never left the stairway until Frank and I turned around to see that they weren't behind us like we expected.
"We can't make you do this..." Frank began,"But I know you, and I know you want to be free too. You want to move on because there are people patiently waiting for you." Frank motioned to Pete, who stood obediently beside him.

I swallowed thickly, preparing for what I was about to say, "Ray never wanted you guys to end like it did." I took a step forward, letting him know I'm here for him. "He loved you in a way that nobody here could understand. Not even me. I know it was all confusing towards the end, but I know he cared about you. But don't let that trap you any longer!"

"But I was horrible to him. I said things that I can never take back. I-" He broke down into a sob then, a hand coming to cover his mouth.
I twitched slightly, my immediate brotherly instinct wanting to go comfort my brother, but he needs to face this. To intercept now would defeat the whole purpose of coming here. He needs to decide for himself.

"You and him had no bad blood between you. He died considering you a life long friend and nothing you said to him that night would've changed that!" He felt so distant to me, but I need him to know I'm right here.

"Are you sure?" He asked in a small voice, and my heart ached because I shared his pain. I really did. We all have things we regret when it comes to Ray.

"He was in love with you, you know." Mikey spoke, more like a statement than an inquiry and I flinched at the sentence.
There was a long pause before I said, "I know." I could feel my heart shrivel up at the thought of what I had avoided for the entirety of his and my friendship.
I could feel Frank's confused gaze from behind me, but I can't address that now.
"Yes, I denied that fact for many years and I regret never resolving it. I feel like I got between you two and I never wanted that. He deserved an answer and he'll never get it."
I felt tears beginning to prick my eyes, but I can't stop now. "I am making the decision to let it go. I forgive myself because if I don't, the grief will consume me. It will come for you too. In fact, it already has. I don't want that for you."