Never Look Up (Frerard Dld sequel)

Chapter 10

Frank pov

"I'm sorry I'm late." I apologized as I approached my mom and sat across from her at the table. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun, and she was wearing the clothes I last saw her in. Her face was unbelievably pale and bags drooped heavily underneath her eyes.

"It's fine. I wasn't waiting long."

"So how have you been?" She asked awkwardly. She knows how I've been.

"Pure hell." I replied with a half hearted chuckle.

She stared at me remorsefully. "Frank. You know I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you." She reached a hand across the table to rest on mine. Her touch felt weird; this whole situation was bizarre to me.

"Well you did. Not a day goes by that I don't miss you or wish I had you. What you did was unfair to me."

"When I was alive you never wanted me around like you do now." She observed aloud.

"You weren't fucking dead then. We could still call to talk. I would have the choice to physically see and speak to you. Now all I can do is remanence all the shitty memories we've had. All the arguments." I'v never really thought about how most of the memories I recall are of all the bad times. Probably because all the good ones were too far in the past to remember.

"If our times together were shitty then why do you miss me so dearly?" Her demeanor was more irritated than anything else.

"Because it wasn't specifically you who made the memories bad." I exclaimed.
She sighed. It was quiet between us, and she despondently stared at the table.

After awhile she finally spoke, but didn't meet eye contact. "Frank, you're so complicated. You claim how unfair it was for me to leave you when you left me first. Frank I was alone with the son of a bitch. It was a living hell, I couldn't be there anymore. I didn't want to leave you. You were just an unfortunate sacrifice I had to make." I could hence she was slightly upset because her voice was stern.
I'm not going to lie, I was feeling a little frustrated myself; which I kept controlled till I heard what she said.

"I left the house. I didn't fucking kill myself!" I scooted my chair out, and I stood up. I'm appalled that she compared such drastically different actions.

"You're seriously angry? Have you forgotten that you were going to?!" She yelled back.

No. I didn't forget.

I shut my eyes and inhaled a deep breath before exhaling. All the nerves in my body calmed but I could still feel the anxiety creeping up my throat and invading my chest.

"You're right, but at the time you didn't care for me as much. I was alone!" I argued feeling myself become sad as I recalled the dreary feeling.

"I've always cared, Frank. It was just difficult-"

"Everything was difficult." I scoffed, frustratingly shaking my head grimacing.

"Would you stop with the damn attitude?! I loved you, Frank! If you can't see that it's your own damn fault!" She huffed.

"I wouldn't be so blind to your love if you weren't fucking dead! You're a nonexistent thing with no ability to feel or emit emotion! You can marvel on forever about how sorry you are; I don't care! You're gone and unable to help me. I need you, and you're not here." I yelled.