Never Look Up (Frerard Dld sequel)

Chapter 4

Mikey pov:
Mom wasted no time in making an appointment with my psychiatrist. Usually getting in without a weeks notice is impossible. I guess my mom is more persuasive when angry.

"I'm sorry miss. Way. I had no idea how his body would react; this isn't my fault." Dr. Williams insisted.
She sat at her desk while my mother, and I sat in front of her. Gerard only came a fourth way into the room, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.
"Bullshit." Gerard piped in. My mom scolded him. She was obviously intending to approach this situation more politely.

"Listen, you and Dr. Armstrong made a mistake that really hurt Michael. I'd appreciate you telling me what happened and what I can do to prevent it from happening again." She spoke; threading her fingers together on the table like a first grader trying to please a teacher.

I couldn't help but let my eyes stare at the wedding ring that once had a place on her left hand but now had a permanent place on the right. I don't even know why she still bothers to wear it. I sighed and slid further down in my uncomfortable seat. I don't remember much of my father, nor do I think of him often; he left when I was really young. Ever since I was a child, Gerard refused to discuss anything that had to do with our dad. I don't blame him. Gerard felt betrayed so did mom.

I didn't have enough of a connection to really feel anything toward what happened. I know that Gerard was really close to him, probably why dad leaving fucked Gerard up so bad.

I grew up watching Gerard destroy himself from within. He handled the tragic events that occurred in an unrecommended manor. Gerard is no stranger to depression medication and overly scheduled therapeutic sessions. It's something he's had in different sections of his life. I ponder if Gerard is okay with all the medications he's on. As an early teen he use to violently resist mom and doctors, I'm shocked he's being somewhat obedient this time, is it because of Frank, Ray?

Though, Frank isn't taking his medication, he may have Gerard fooled, but not me. I've been in this environment way to long to be tricked and lied to; Gerard has already done that enough times to me.....

"Let's just get a new psychiatrist." Gerard muttered under his breath distracting me from my internal dialect temporarily.

The corner of Dr. Williams' mouth twitched into a frown. "What happened is simple. Michael's body is probably rejecting to the new dose I prescribed." She explained.

"So this won't stop over time?"

"I'm afraid not. With Celexa, harsh amounts of it don't exactly please his body physically.

"Can you give him something else? I don't think me or Mikey can handle another reaction like that."

"Um. With his behavior, I would have liked to keep him on Celexa and just change the dosage, but I'll do what your comfortable with."

"Change the amount. Thank you." Mom sighed, relaxing back into her chair.

"I'll give him a new prescription our next therapeutic session. I want to accurately diagnose him based on how he acts."

"So until then he's supposed to just have nothing? That's a full month and a half." Mom asked nervously.

"Yes. He can't take Celexa or any other medication till I reevaluate him."

My heart stopped, and my eyes widened as I peered up at my mom. I can't last that long without something there to keep me sane.

With the absence of my multiple medications, I tend to lose myself. My mind travels to places it would never go intentionally; leaving me constantly dazed, sometimes to the point of hallucinations. Nothing severe, it's usually just Ray, though I wouldn't be shocked if I started seeing Elmo everywhere I went.

It occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to take my anxiety medication either, so sleeping is out of the equation for awhile.

"I know this is going to be difficult, but we have no choice. Keep a close eye on Mikey and how he acts. If anything major comes up, call me."

And with that we left.

Gerard quickly noticed my uncomfortableness as I rubbed my sweaty hands together, occasionally wiping them on my pants.

"Don't stress over it Mikey. We've got you. This month will be over before you know it."

I frowned. "I-I I just don't like the idea of going all looney toons." I whispered.

Gerard pursed his lips and grabbed my arm to still me. "You're not crazy Michael." He assured firmly. His intense eye contact making me feel nervous and anxious.

"Maybe, but I'm not far from it. I'm completely delusional."

Gerard's arm dropped to his side, like he gave up on getting me to see his point.

"It's bad Gerard. Even with the medication I still zone out. I only remember three minuets out of the entire meeting we just had!" I stressed.

"What were you doing?" His voice became gentle and concerned. Like he pitied me.

"Thinking." I replied shortly.

Gerard rolled his eyes, and his tone became light as he asked. "About?"

"You I guess. Look, I don't wanna talk about it." I suddenly shied away from Gerard to prevent bringing up dad. I began walking again.
"Well if it's about me I want to know." He argued.

"Really Gerard it's nothing."

Hey,
I'd like some feedback on how your liking it. I understand if things need to be changed, it's still the beginning and I can't write well but eh.
~Kayla