Never Look Up (Frerard Dld sequel)

Chapter 15

Don't look down just hit 10k a few days ago. Omffff
Frank pov

Mikey and I walked into the house, the temperature perceiving that of Antarctica, causing a shiver to visibly run down my spine. Which is acceptable; it's October after all.

I despise the fact that winter is creeping so close. I tend to have seasonal depression. More introverted behavior.
I leaned toward the thermostat and turned the heat up to 65 degrees.
Almost as if routinely, Mikey moved to submerge himself back into the familiar isolation that is his bedroom, while I think of a way to entertain myself until Gerard returns. Shouldn't be hard, I have lots on my mind. Lately, I've felt as if Gerard has been very distant. I don't know if it's purposely, or he's just mentally preoccupied. It's like he's talking to me, but his words have shallow meaning; it's left me confused and tenuous.

Figuratively, I am a blind man, and Gerard is my guide. His words are my deity, and I rely on them. Now, it's as if I am deaf and can no longer hear his gospel. I'm being completely deprived of vital communication.

He says he wants to talk; I'm inferring there is something he wants to specifically bring up, but I'm clueless on what exactly. I'm hoping he feels the same so we can work it out. Deciding that I'd just have to wait for Gerard, I turned my attention to the second man of the household. I often wonder what's going on in Mikey's head. Ever since my nightmares stopped we haven't had much in common. This might sound psychotic, but the pain we shared was something we bonded over. Now, as I do my best to neglect the petrifying recollection of my nightmares and don't suffer as intensely, It's difficult relating to Mikey.

I'm not saying that I'm completely fine, in fact, I'm far from okay, but I'm better than before.
Knowing that being confined in darkness can't possibly be good for Mikey, I speak, "You could hang with me for awhile, you know?" He paused momentarily, looking over at me just as I diverted my eyes away. "We could talk." I don't know why proposing this idea made me so anxious. I mean, I've always found communicating with Mikey to be hard, even before the accident.

"About what?" He asked, hesitation lingering in his voice as he ran a hand through his artificially blonde hair. I'm surprised he didn't immediately shut me down.

I looked at Mikey, trying to think, but was distracted by the fact that I've never noticed how much Mikey has changed these past few months. Though, he hasn't aged, and won't for some while; he just seemed older. Perhaps, it's the frown that permanently rests on his face making him appear older than 15, or the fact that he dyed his hair about a week ago. I don't know.

"Anything." I replied. I did have a specific topic in mind, but I don't want to cause conflict between anyone.

"No offense Frank, but I've had enough talking about my personal life for now."

"What do you mean? You never talk to anyone," Mikey stared at me for a moment, as if considering what I had just said. I searched his face for some hint as to what he's thinking, but nothing about his usual empty glare revealed anything. "I know that you wanna just shut everything out, but like it or not, you've got people around who want to be included in your life. You should give them that attention. Not only for them, but for you too," I shrugged off my coat and hung it up. Mikey remained silent, so I decided to build my case further. "Look, I'm not trying to pry. I'm just gonna say that when I let Gerard in, my life got a lot easier." I added in the sincerest tone.

Sometimes, I have to remember how sensitive Mikey can be, and that we're both just teenagers with hormones and emotions everywhere intensifying everything we feel and do.