Within the Forest (Werewolf Solangelo AU)

Chapter Fifty-Three: I'm sorry

Nico's POV

Is happy the right word to explain how being back with Will feels? No. Not even close. But I'm still terrified. I don't know how I knew the scent thing meant Will... Knew... But I did. So far none of the things I thought would happen has happened. He didn't yell at me or call me a "whore". He doesn't seem at all mad. He didn't hit me. He hasn't even avoided me. I known I deserve all the things I just listed more than the pure kindness I've been given instead.

I am a whore. Who said whores need to be girls? I'm a "Man Whore" or whatever. I asked a stranger to mate with me just because of a little pain. Maybe that pain wasn't so little, but still. I cheated on Will with Luke and I'm disgusting for that.

He should be mad at me. Especially since I let it happen more than once. I don't know why I didn't just run the first time. Why did I wait so long? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He should hit me. I deserve it. I said I love him and only him. And I do. I really really do. But you don't cheat on your lovers and that's what I did. Why isn't he mad?

And avoiding me is the thing I found most likely. Luke's scent has yet to drive him away. I've heard him, almost viciously, tell his parents not to come near the room I was staying in. Then just after that he came in and flopped down next to me. How can he stand being around me?

Even Sol is just as (appropriately) clingy as he always was. Even though now he seems almost afraid to touch me. I once had to be the first to hug him and then ask for a hug while I was hugging him just for him to return the embrace. It's strange and kind of concerning. Maybe Sol's the one mad at me. I don't even know.

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Will and I were hanging out in bed. I was on the verge of falling asleep, Will laying behind me with his arms around me. Then it happened. A seething hot burn shot through me, making me cry out. Will jumped, pulling me closer to him.

"Nico? Nico?! What's wrong?! What happened?!" He sat up, pulling me up with him. I just continued to curl in on myself. This stupid heat! I hate it! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! But my anger only came out of sobs and hot tears running down my cheeks.

I was barely able to look up and see Will clearly. He was almost frozen, still holding me but not at the same time. His eyes were glazed over. I learned that was what he looks like when he's talking with Sol. What are they-

Will suddenly stood up and bolted from the room, slamming the door shut. Despite the heat, I felt cold. He left. He just... Left me here. Just like Ethan but.. I didn't... Will.

"W-Will!" I cried, almost springing from the bed. More tears came as I crumpled to the floor almost immediately. I made my way to the door and tried the doorknob. My heart stopped. Locked. He locked me in here. "Will!"

Nothing. He's avoiding me. I knew it. I knew it, I knew it! I knew he was mad at me. I'm human. I'm not supposed to go into heat! He thinks I'm disgusting. He thinks I'm some kind a freak. What if he thinks I'm not actually human? That I lied to him?

I slumped against the door, curling up, clawing at my abdomen with one hand and weakly knocking my knuckles against the door with the other. "I-I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I croaked weakly, tears streaming down my face.

"I'm so so sorry..."