Mr. Gabriel's Revenge (Book 2) [ Psychological Horror ] | COMPLETED

Chapter 28

You're damaged. You're ruined. Your mind is scrambled, your body is partially artificial. Your blood isn't the same. Even after saving you and destroying Reuben, he still lives -- inside you.

While sitting on the couch, chewing on my knuckles and staring at the wall that I smashed into, I feel like my own brain is beginning to fry as I imagine what kind of life we will have from now on. How will we go on with you like this? Is there even a way I can fix this? I promised that I could help you on your way to recovery, but after the challenges I faced in the realm, I realize there are some things I just can't do. I want you. I don't want anyone else.

I'm tired.

I'm too tired now.

I have you, but what if you turn on me one day? I would have to leave, and then what, start over? With whom? Jack is most likely gone. Would it be foolish if I went looking for him? I have nothing to work with. No direction, no clues -- nothing. He must be dead, or still trapped between here and the afterlife. Reuben put him there, but with that asshole gone, something should've happened.

If you turned on me, who knows what would happen.

Or maybe your body would eventually reject what he put inside you and it would be the same as having cancer. If that happened, I could possibly heal you, but it wouldn't be a permanent fix because those are not your body parts.

None of this is a life I wanted. It wouldn't be for you, either.

I never want to lose you again.

A question then comes to mind -- a question that I seriously begin to ponder.

I look away from the wall, down to my lap with a somber, contemplative stare and rub my chin.

This world doesn't have room for me to exist anymore, does it? The way things are panning out, it sure seems that way.

"Gabriel?"

I'm disturbed from my train of thought and immediately get off the couch, startling you as you enter the room.

You see the serious, solemn look in my eyes. The look of a man who has lost everything. Everything.

"What's... wrong?"

"What's wrong?" I repeat with a small twitch in the eye. 

There's silence for a moment.

"I don't know how." I shake my head and walk to the window.

"You don't know how to what? What are you talking about?"

"No, Addison... I don't expect you to understand." I cross my arms, watching the puffy gray clouds. "I don't know what... or who I'm supposed to be."

"Weren't we talking about that kind of thing earlier?"

"Oh," I faintly scoff, "not like this. No."

"Are you saying you don't want to be what you are...?" You sound so concerned -- like we're in this together. Like you can help. We aren't in this together, Addison. Not like you think.

I hear you coming closer with light, hesitant steps.

"Don't come any closer." I mutter in a growl.

You go quiet again.

I breathe in deeply, eyes lowering. "I am what I am, but you're right -- I have changed."

Tears are beginning to form again and I just can't stop them even if I wanted to. I hate who I've become. This isn't me. I'm not weak. I'm not a victim. Not wanting to fight anymore, just wanting you and not even having you all to myself...

You hear me sniffle and breathe out with a small unintentional hurt sound leaving me. "I just don't want to lose you again. I fear I might lose control."