Jamilton scars

Chapter 10

Trigger Warning: Degrading/suicidal thoughts

It was about 10am when I finally woke up but I decided to keep my eyes closed. I remember seeing Laf nod off first, then Angelica and Eliza. I remember feeling Alex's head getting heavier on my shoulder until he was on my lap, so I gathered he'd fallen asleep. I turned around to see Peggy and John asleep in each other's arms (they are such a cute couple). I think I got to sleep just before Herc did but something was bothering me that made my eyes flip open. Alex was squirming around frantically in my lap, I tried to reassure him but...

Alex's Dream (Alex's P. O. V)

"You're NOTHING!"

"Um...Hello?"

"You deserve to die!"

"No I don't! I have friends who-"

"You don't have friends!"

"What? M...my friends like me! . . . or do they?"

"Nobody likes you, no one will ever like you!"

"Well, my 'friends' might not like me, but Thomas does!"

"Does he? . . . REALLY?!"

"I...i don't know...does he?"

"He doesn't like you, he's NEVER liked you! Do you know know why?!"

"W...why doesn't h...he like me?"

"Because you're going to kill yourself!"

"NO! I'M...not?"

"Yes, you are!"

"I am, aren't I?"

"Your going to go slit your wrists?"

"Y...YEAH!"

"Yeah?"

"I don't deserve to live, do I? I deserve to DIE don't I?!"

"YES! YOU DO! And you know that now, right?"

"YEAH! I'M GONNA GO SLIT MY-"

"Alex? Alex!"

"T...Thomas-"

'Reality'
"T...Thomas?" Alex stuttered, lost in his own world.
"Alex? What were you dreaming about?" Laf said, his eyes filling with tear s of concern for his best friend. As Alex sat up, he noticed Peggy cowering under a blanket with John hugging her non-stop. I heard a slight 'sniff' noise and turned to see Angelica balling her eyes out, with Eliza not far behind. I knew that Herc was trying to stay strong (they had never seen him look weak). It was then that I noticed a single tormented teardrop roll itself down my cheek into my lap.
"erm..." Alex was trying to come up with a 'sensible' excuse.
"Erm... Work, I was dreaming of work, why do you ask?" He plastered a fake smile onto his distraught face but then looked up in horror.
"Alex - " I was crying SO much I couldn't finish my sentence. Alex looked deep into my eyes to reassure me but it just made my cry even more. Tears dripped down my cheek in an endless stream as I bit my lip as hard as I could to prevent me from screaming.
"A...Alex..."Herc said, inhaling deeply to avoid tears (it wasn't working).
"Why do you think we hate you?" Alex's face dropped as Herc wiped away a tear with his sleeve, which caught Laf's attention as he shuffled over to hug him, holding back his own tears.
"I...i don't... I would never..." Waves of guilt rushed over Alex and I noticed tears began to form in his eyes as I drew him into a tight squeeze.
"Your dream Lexi," I squeezed him tighter, "Please, PLEASE! Don't kill yourself!" The room turned into a sea of tears as Alex, looked up, full of guilt and nodded one solitary nod of hope.

*Time skip (2 Weeks) *
I couldn't be happier! I had Lexi (I can call him that now) and be is no longer suicidal...

... I think...