Tony was beyond pissed when I arrived at his house; to me it wasn't my home. He wasn't playing the concerned father roll like Vic had, and Mike wasn't there for Vic to be mad at as he tried to be the cool older brother. And to me those few days with them made me feel loved. But now I feel nothing at all.
"Who the fuck would do this?" He asks and I shrug "Say something"
"Sorry" I mumbled
"Its not your fault" he groaned "It's whoever the Fuck did this's"
"If you know it's not my fault why are you mad at me?" I ask just above a whisper, and he retorts
"I'm not mad!"
"Clearly" I groaned
"Just. Just go to your room!" He says and I laugh at that statement
"You mean the GUEST room?" I emphasized guest as I walked away, and he slammed his hand against the wall
I went in my room craving something, something other then numbness. I went in my suitcase and pulled out an oh too familiar jewelry box full of the most dangerous yet small pieces of metal. I went to the bathroom and locked the door, sitting in the bathtub. He shower was in the bathtub, it was one of those thingies where there was a nozzle that switched from bath hose to shower head.
I pulled my pants down to my knees seeing the old slits that were scanned but fading on my hips. I loved doing it on my hips cause it was boney, easy to hide, and a lot of blood poured out. But I planned on going far down. Far enough to a point where I wouldn't be wearing shorts for a while. But that was okay, because it's still February so it wouldn't be too suspicious. I press hard against my skin, to a point where my hand was shaking, and slowly I made my way across my leg, about six inches. I heard as the skin scratched and tour until I finally picked it up. Since it was so deep, there was a thick line of crimson, and in some parts blood made a dot until it got so big it slid down my leg. Then above that at the highest I can go without hitting my stomach, I went deeply, but sliding vastly so I can cause more pain, faster. It looked like no damage was caused so I made three more, and watched as small dots speared and only got bigger. I wiped it with my hand, but it kept coming out, and I just kept making more slashes.
I stoped when there was a knock on my door, but I stood frozen, knowing it would bleed threw my jeans. The door opened and Tony called out my name.
"I'm taking a shit" I called out, laughing at myself
"Hot" he called back "I'm going to Jaime's don't answer the door for anyone, and stay inside, bye"
"Bye" I called, then sighed and sunk into the tub farther, it was scary how great of a liar I've become. But I started just scrapping against the skin, then I did one last deep one. Then I rolled onto my side to stand up and it smeared blood all over the tub. I got up and washed dry blood off my hands and started wiping the dry blood that almost hit my jeans. I wet toilet paper and wiped away the the blood crying out in pain. The blood just started spilling out, so I looked in the medicine cabinets, then under the sink and finally found a first aid kit. I disinfected it, but blood kept coming out of my shredded skin. I put some gel on it, then wrapped it fifteen times around. I pull up my pants and wash my hands again, then walk to my room... at least Jonah gave me crap back. Even though I don't have a TV in here for my PS4. Ah, Toby has one but I wouldn't feel comfortable asking him to play with it.
I got up and walked out of my room, there was no harm playing while he was gone. But when I walked out something caught my eye: the forgotten room. I creeped towards it ana opens the door turning on the light. I started walking down the stairs, leaving the door cracked, and going all the way to the bottom where I saw a room with a lot of buttons and chairs then a door with a room full of instruments. When I got in the room though, the other room disappeared, the room was completely silent, and besides the instruments there was only the door I came for. I grabbed a guitar and sat down, then tuned it with the already installed into the guitar tuner. I did my scale, then strummed once with a palm mute. I amplified the acoustic, then turned it up.
