Bad At Love g.d

chapter 28

chapter 28- bad dreams

malia

"stressed out about what?" he kept attacking me with questions and i couldn't even keep up with my own lies. "grayson, it's nothing," i said but didn't stop him from asking so many questions

"yes, it's clearly bothering you because you always avoid me and ruth," he said all tensed

i need to make up a lie. "it's because um i thought i was pregnant," i said and i hated myself that moment. "what?" he said and it looked like he wasn't believing any of it. "i hooked up with some random person and yeah, it's weird," i said and he finally let go of it.

"but now you have to go out with me somewhere, like old times," he smiled. "fine," i said all miserable.

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the bell rings and i quickly rush out of class, leaving grayson behind. this is my free period and i don't want to go out with anyone. "where do you think you're going?" grayson said out of breathe. "no where," i lied. i was planning to go to the park by myself to just watch the sky and little kids be happy.

"now let's go out somewhere," he said pointing towards his car. i just sigh and get in his car.

i get the flashback of when i was last here. the tension i felt. but it was just me feeling the tension that day, it's just in my head.

he gets in the car and he passes his hands through his hair, i found it so hot and memorising. he was now fustarted how his phone died out of nowhere so he bit his lip and all i can do is squeeze my hands together and hope he doesn't do anything else.

"can i use your phone, for gps?" he asked and i handed it to him. he seen all the messages i had from people and the missed phone calls. "wow, you really do ignore people really well," he said but he seemed liked he was now offended and hurt at the same time.

"im sorry, it was just the wrong timing," i offered him a smile. but he just shrugged and looked at me in such a serious way.

"what was really going on?" he asked and now i had to explain but i didn't want to put myself in that position. "i was in a wrong place mentally, i just hated myself," i said and he seen how my mood shifted as i talked and you can hear the slight cracks in my voice

this was the truth, not all of it but it was somewhat of it. you can notice my pain in my voice and see the tears now forming too. "i feel like im under a fucking cloud and it won't leave. do you know how many times i get asked why i don't talk to anyone? too much. it's not that i don't want to, i just can't. i can't go out and socialize and pretend to be happy I'm general." i told him and his face went from happy to sad.

"don't worry about me gray, im doing okay now." but now i was lying to him and myself included. "and i also know you're seeing your brother," i changed the topic. "how do you know?" he asked so scared

"i seen you two last time, during the time i was avoiding everyone. im happy for you," I offer him a smile and he just sighs in relief. "i wanted to tell you so bad but you didn't want to talk and it was eating me. i cant even tell my own girlfriend." he said and when he said girlfriend it broke my heart.

"how is it with her anyway?" i asked and pretended to actually care and look happy for him. im happy for him but again i want to be her. the one in his arms. "great, i really like her," he said with a huge smile and i just gulped.

after of us talking he started to drive and i fell asleep.

>> malias dream.

i woke up in a field filled with big and bright yellow sunflowers all around me. but i didn't know why i was even here. "hello?"i  asked like if anyone was around.

and far from my distance i can see grayson just sitting under a tall tree just giving him shade. i run all across the field so i can just reach him. 

"grayson?!" i yell many times but i was still far from reaching him and he couldn't see me because he was looking up and admiring the sky.

i stopped running and tried to catch my breath and that's when i see jade.

"if you want him then beat her," a voice said and i didn't know where it came from. she was way ahead of me.

i need to run again. and i ran and ran till i past her. i had a huge smile across my face when he seen me. but right when i was about to reach him, i trip on a vine and she reached him first.

"noo!" i yell and get up but it was too late. he was with her and she was in his arms and i was just watching it all. "you lost him," the voice said again and i looked around me and saw no one.

this can't be happening, i need to run again. i thought to myself. i finally reached them but they were gone and i was all alone.

"noo! i deserve to be in your arms. " i scream out and feel someone touch me and i wake up. it was just a dream.

"malia, it's okay. it's just a dream." he said so softly and i was actually crying from my dream and i was so shaky and my breathing was uneven.

Grayson

i notice that malia fell asleep and she kept moving but i couldn't do anything because i was driving.

out of nowhere she started to scream. "noo! i deserve to be in your arms," she yelled out and that's when i stop the car and wake her up.

i told her it was just a dream, and i see her face and her cheeks were stained with tears. whatever she was dreaming about really must of scared and hurt her. who was she talking about? alec, maybe.

"malia, who are you talking about?" i asked her and i shouldn't of asked because she's clearly not okay from the dream.

"no one, just a dream." she said nervous and i just touched her hand and gently squeezed her hand with mine as a gesture as she's okay.

a smile creeped on her face.

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im sneaking my phone to update. gtg love you guys ! // what do you guys think so far? i miss being active ;(

peace

-maritza 🍒