Bad At Love g.d

Chapter 9

Grayson

Maliaa09: hey loser :)

Bdolan: so I'm loser now??:/ Mmhm since when

I get her shirt that was starting to stink my room and take it with the rest of my clothes and put it to wash.

Ding

Maliaa09: yes :)) anyways when can I know how you look like?

Bdolan: I don't think you'll ever know

Maliaa09: atleast your name :)

Bdolan: Bailey. My mom decided to give me a girl name.

Maliaa09: oh my god I just choked.

Bdolan: ;))

Maliaa09: you're gross, ew

-

I go into my room and again Cameron was bugging me. "what?" I ask annoyed at her sitting in my bed "what's up with you and Alec?" She sits down on my bed and she had a serious face and which meant she knows

"nothing, why?" I try to act like nothing was happening but it was beyond that now. "are you sure?" She tried getting another answer "yes," I roll my eyes

I get that she wants to protect me but I'm not a little kid anymore. It's not that I can't defend myself but if I do I get violent. It's bad.

"what's this then?" She puts her phone on my face and clicks on a video. It was when he pushed me against the wall and Malia stopped him. "It was nothing," I look away hiding the tears that were forming into my eyes

"stop lying to me. How long has this been going on?" She asks fustarsted and I say,"two days," but it was a lie. "You're lying to me, god Grayson tell me how long!" She yells at me and it was getting me mad

I need to contribute my temper. I look away and get myself together. "How long has this been going on for!!" She yells even louder and she knows how to get answers out of me "Ethan isn't here to save you, ok but I'm here!" She pressures

I look down at my hands that were now formed into fists. I let lose and start tapping on my leg. It was a habit I would do when I would get mad and not go off. "Since the start! I know how to defend myself but you know what happens when I do!" I slide my hand through my hair and let out a sigh

"I know Ethan isn't here but you don't have to bring it up! You're lucky you have the chance to seem but I don't. You don't think I miss him? I do and a lot." I feel myself going off and I just walk out my room

As I walk out I make it out the doorway. When I'm out I let out a sharp breathe and inhale. I sit on the floor and go on my phone.

Bdolan: so I'm told.

Maliaa09: can I atleast know something about you?!

Bdolan: sure cupcake. 21 questions

Maliaa09: age?

Bdolan: 17, hbu

Maliaa09: 17, will I ever meet you ?

Bdolan: I can be an old man just jacking off to your pictures from all you know. You're bi?

Malia

Maliaa09: yes but no one really knows://

Bdolan: why?

Maliaa09: it's not something I want people to know.

I send the text and get out the app. "Who are you texting?" Ruth tried looking over my phone but I just turn it off

"someone," I smile at her but I can't exactly give her a name because I barely know him and she will give me a lecture on how I shouldn't be talking to 'strangers'

And being lectured by Ruth, is fucking annoying. But I love her and would do anything for her. She's probably my only gay friend. "I'm signing up for porn hub," I shrug trying to hold my laughter

She just freezes for a second and looks at me in pure shock. "Are you stupid? You only done it once and you want to sign up and do it with strangers?!" She makes a face which means you're fucking stupid or you're high

"I'll be doing it with girls," I wink at her and she responds with,"again are you okay? Did Grayson drug you?"

"No, I'm okay but I'm signing up. Well I'm already accepted I start tomorrow," I grit my teeth hoping she doesn't start screaming like last time when I told her about me losing my virginity to Alec.

We only did it once and that's all. I feel a smack on the back of my head. "Ow!" I retort back and touch my head "I was joking, gosh," I tell her as I'm laughing and she just flicks me off "you're such a rat, I hope you choke on a cactus with all the crackheads from school," she says as she blows a kiss

--

Bdolan: why not? If it's who you are then why hide it

Maliaa09: wow so deep.

I was going to get ready for school but I'm suspended so I don't have to sleep early tonight.

Someone knocks on my door. "We need to talk," my mom (foster) tells me standing behind the door "come in," I turn off my phone "if you want to get adopted, I need you to behave and you can't be getting in trouble. I don't wanna be lost in what's happening to you. I know you drank the other night. Alec, isn't worth your tears honey. You deserve so much better. Someone will treat you like you're the only girl in the world trust me on that," she says as she's making her way to hug me

I can't lie if that didn't make me tear up. I been doing great on not crying about him because I've been pretending he doesn't exist. "thank-," I wasn't able to finish my sentence because I was now crying like always

"I'm sorry, I just miss him so much. I thought he actually did like what we had but I guess not. It's hard to forget like it all didn't happen or that he exists because he does. I also know he is a horrible person but I still want to be with him," I struggle saying my words as the tears stain my cheeks just streaming down to my jaw

She pulls me into a hug and doesn't say anything. I needed this. I haven't been telling Ruth anything lately because she's happy and I don't want to ruin that for her.

--

I lay in bed just hearing music. 

♫ just wanna feel your lips against my skin ♫

♫ white sheets, bright lights, crooked teeth and the night life  ♫

♫ you told me this is right where it begins ♫

♫ but you lips hang heavy, under me ♫
[ Is there somewhere- by Halsey ]

I need to stop being so sad. It's not going to bring him back.

--

Hope you liked it <3

Don't forget you matter :)

Peace 🌙

-maritza 🌻