Bad At Love g.d

Chapter 1

edit of july 13th 2019, i wrote this book  july 28 2017,, i was around 14/15 this was super rushed !!

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Malia

It's the fourth time I get dumped. What am I doing wrong? Do I give them too much? I'm here again in bed just crying and deleting old pictures. Just tossing away the movie tickets, pictures, and notes.

I hear someone knock and I quickly wipe my tears. I turn my back, I'm not trying to be seen in this horrible state. "Hey, girl! I got tea for you!" Ruth yells loud and I still give her my back.

She comes to the bed and she looks at me. Ruth finally noticed how red and puffy my eyes were. "Babe, what's wrong?" She looks over my shoulder and she sees the stuff all over my bed

She didn't even have to ask anymore. The answer was clear that I was again dumped. She hugs me tight and rubs my back. She pulls away before I can hug her back.

"Hey, I don't like seeing you down and you know I suck at comforting people but for you I would do anything Malia, I fucking love you. " She says with a weak smile and I can see the tears forming in her bright brown eyes

I knew how much she hated seeing me like this. The thing is she seen me like this too often. It was always about the same thing.

"I want to know why they always leave? Am I not good enough?" I sob and pass my hands through my hair but it was tangled it's been a while since I last showered or even changed

She lifts my head up and tells me," You're too good for them, okay and you don't need them because I'm here. I will always be here no matter what. You will find the right one trust me on that. I love you,"

I'm so thankful for Ruth but how much can she handle with my shit?

--

Hours gone by and Ruth just left. She wanted to stay but I had told her I wanted to be alone. I need to be alone. All I want to do is cry. I go back to my phone and see the text Alec had sent me.

I'm sorry but I can't be with you anymore.

- delivered 2:47 // 5 days ago
from Alec

I was going to ask what did I do wrong but after that I seen him post on his Snapchat about some other girl. Highschool is going to be hard.

I'm in my senior year, after I'm going to become what I want to be. I don't know what that is exactly yet.

I get up from my bed and get red lipstick the one Alec has bought me. I begin to write onto my mirror.

Once I'm finished you can see the big and bold letters in red

I'm bad at love

Because truly I am. My first boyfriend was freshman and he just used me. After that I kept getting dumped. I kept hoping that one of them wouldn't end me.

But you guessed it. And here I am crying for another fucking guy who decided to dump me. My mom doesn't know how torn I end up after these constant breakups.

The thing is she doesn't know because she stopped visiting me. I'm in an a foster home and soon I might be adopted. This family is very loving and I'm just good at hiding how I feel.

My father, well my mom doesn't know who exactly it is. I only have one sister but she's older then me. I'm 17 and she's 23. She's living her own life.