HS - Wish You Were Here - Part 1 - Harry Styles

Chapter 10

Playlist: 

I Have Questions - Camilla Cabello

Don't Leave - Snakehips

It Will Rain - Bruno Mars

I remain frozen by the sink, my mind protecting my body from feeling the onslaught of pain that I know is inevitable. 

As soon as I hear the front door click shut I am surrounded by the silence Dan has left behind him and the flood gates of held in emotion immediately burst open.

Standing upright is too much for my muscles to hang on to and my knees come crashing to the kitchen floor.  I look around in panic, gasping for air as the betrayal and loss begin to suffocate me.

The reality of what just happened hits me like a semi-trailer moving at a hundred miles an hour. The image of the two of them in our bed is burned into my retina and overwhelming my senses.  I let out a strangled scream in a plea to make the pain stop before my voice breaks and the burning tears run down my face.

I'm trying to breathe through the sobbing as the agony takes over my mind, body and shattered heart.  In a moment of clarity I desperately pull my phone out of my pocket and hit the call button.  I know I need help and I need it fast.

"BEC!!" I barely recognise my hysterical voice as my sister answers the phone.

"Holy fuck! What's happened?" 

"Dan. Here. Another. Woman." Was all my mouth could spit out between the convulsing that took over when I had to admit out loud what I just witnessed.

"Oh my god! Ok. Ok. Are you ok? I'm coming. I'm coming!"  She says in a frenzy, not sure what to say or do.  "You stay on the phone to me Liv ok? I'm going to the train station right now!"

—-

I'm laying face down on the rug in the living room, my head is turned to the left, my cheek pressed into the rough material as my hand rests in front of my face on the floor in front of me.

Bec has been here for the past three hours.  I had peeled myself off the kitchen floor when I heard her screaming my name as she bashed on the front door.  

She had consoled me as I screamed, cried and irrationally relayed any minor incident in the last six months that could have been a hint or indication of a lie that I was too blind to see.   She thankfully took my phone off me after I rejected the countless number of calls from Dan and was about to throw it at a wall.

She looked down at the phone as it rang two hours ago and walked into the other room. I could her her talking quietly to the person on the line.  That's how I ended up on the floor.  I was tired, too tired, even sitting was too overwhelming and there was no fucking way I was going to get into that tainted bed ever again.  She had walked back in to find me here and sat down on the arm chair next to me as I slipped in and out of consciousness.  

An aggressive knock at the door startles me and I feel my body stiffen, praying for it to be anyone but Dan. 

"Where is she?" I recognise Harry's aggravated voice ask Bec as she answers the door. "Why didn't you call me sooner!?" I can hear him storming down the hallway without waiting for Bec to respond. 

I close my eyes as I hear his sharp intake of breath from behind me, I feel pathetic but the strength in me to explain to him what happened has been completely drained over the past few hours.

He walks around to stand in front of me and my eyes flutter open to see him kicking off his boots.  He stares down at me and the concern in his eyes makes me hold my breath.  He looks like a three year old who just found his favourite toy in pieces on the ground after being stomped on by a bully.

Without speaking he gets down on the floor and lies on his stomach next to me, his body a mirror image to mine. 

"Hi,"  he whispers, pity pouring from his face.

Our hands, his right, my left, are laying between our faces on the floor.  I can't speak, my throat hurts and I know the minute I open my mouth the tears that are threatening their way forward will come streaming down my face.

I look into his green eyes trying to telepathically tell him how happy I am that he is here before my gaze settles back onto my hand in front of my eyes. 

Before Harry arrived I had been staring at the ring on my finger that  Dan gave me as a lifelong promise of love and commitment, for god knows how long.  The light bouncing off the diamond engagement ring relentlessly mocking me with every flicker of motion and ridiculing the illusion of my life I had so stupidly believed.  I have been imagining taking it off and throwing it across the room but I can't find the energy so have just continued to stare at it as the minutes and hours passed.

As if Harry can read my mind he places his large hand over mine, covering the rock that had me hypnotised and temporarily breaking me from its spell.  I look at him and sigh in relief, or maybe in exhaustion. 

His eyes feel like they are looking into my unguarded soul and I silently beg for him not to ask me if I'm alright as I battle to keep my tears at bay.  Instead, his tongue juts out to quickly lick his lips and he whispers "You're going to be ok." His tone so is sincere I almost let myself believe it.  

He removes his hand from mine to brush some loose strands of hair behind my ear.  His light touch feels like feathers on my face that I'm sure is swollen and puffy from hours of crying.

"Do you want me to take this off for now?" He asks, his voice full of caution and sympathy as he puts his fingers over the ring and runs his thumb over the back of my hand in soothing circles.

I give him a small nod, aware I haven't spoken a word to him since he got here yet his presence washes a calm over me and he seems to understand exactly what I need. 

The broken pieces of my heart split further apart as he slowly and gently pulls my engagement ring up my finger and stretches his lean body to place it on the coffee table behind us.  Quickly returning his hand over mine so I don't have to stare at my now bare finger representing the dreams that have been stripped from me in one afternoon. 

"Liv, honey, I have changed the sheets on the bed if you want to lie in there?" Bec says as she walks into the room.

I shake my head to Harry, my eyes filled with horror as I remember what happened last time I walked into that room. 

"Yeah, I figured, I'll sleep in there then and I'll make up the sofa bed in here for you" Bec states from behind me without acknowledging that Harry is now lying on the floor as well.

I let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding in and start to get up to allow my sister to pull out the bed next to us.  Harry is on his feet much faster than me and he grabs my elbow to help me up.

Bec leaves to get more bed linen and I feel two comforting arms wrap around my back.  Harry feels so warm and secure I have the urge to bury my face into his neck. 

"I'm so sorry he did this to you, you don't deserve this" He says into my hair and I start to sob as he holds me tighter. 

"Come on honey" Bec says to me as my crying subsides, slowly guiding me to the freshly made sofa bed and I get under the covers. 

"Harry, are you staying here?" She asks him gently.

"Yeah, I'll sit with you til you fall asleep ok, Liv?" He turns to look at me and I nod.

"Ok great. Night, Liv. I'm just in the other room if you need anything. I love you."  She says kissing me carefully on the forehead and heading to the bedroom. 

Harry sits next to me on the bed with his back against the headboard and I roll over to face him.

"Thanks for coming," I croak, my voice hoarse from the day I've had.

He smiles lightly and I hear a small sigh as he shuffles down to lie down next to me, our bodies facing each other. 

"Olivia, I'm always going to be here for you." He confesses and softly runs his fingers through my hair until I fall asleep.