Sanders Sides One Shots [xReader]

Panic [ThomasXreader]

TW // Panic attack

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[Your POV]

"Ready?" Thomas asks and prepares to click on the 'stream' button. I nod hesitantly.

Today was the day when we would tell the Fanders about our relationship, and I am so nervous. I know that a lot of them are all for Thomas having a healthy and happy relationship, but what if they don't like that I am Thomas's girlfriend? Or maybe they just don't like me?

I mean, Thomas wouldn't leave me after two years, just because his fans don't like me, right? Right!?!

Before my mind can wander any further a quick "What is up everybody?!" brings me back into the real world. "So today I have a very, very special guest: It's (Y/N)!"

"Hey, guys!" I say and smile at the laptop camera. A lot of people start to watch and write messages in the chat.

They won't accept you.
How could they? Look at you!
You're so ugly, especially next to Thomas.
They'll hate you!
Thomas will break up with you because his fans are more important to him.
You're going to die alone.
No one likes you.

The voices in my head chant. I grip my knees tightly as my hands start to shake, and I bite my lip, still staring at the chat.

"So, we're here today, to tell you that-"

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" I yell, cover my ears and shake my head. I actually tried to quiet the noises in my head, but I startled Thomas in the process.

Tears well up in my eyes as a ringing sound starts in my ears.

"(Y/N)? Are you okay?" For one second Thomas's voice breaks through the ringing.

I open my eyes but see nothing other than black spots. Shaking my head, I hear a button being pressed and a quiet thud, like a laptop being closed.

Then someone picks me up, places me on their lap, and holds me close to them as I shake and cry uncontrollably.

They'll hate you.
Hate you.
Hate you.
Hate. You.

"Everything is fine (Y/N). You're safe here. I love you. You're okay."
Thomas's voice comes through the ringing again.

I taste metal and realize that I bit open my lip.

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It feels like an eternity later when my vision finally becomes clear and my body stops shaking.

"Hey, are you alright?" Thomas asks after I look up at him. I simply shrug, not trusting my voice. Then Thomas sits me down next to him and walks to the kitchen, wetting a paper towel and walking back over to me.
He lifts my chin and cleans my bloody lip.
"What happened?" Thomas asks, and I try to talk, my voice only comes out quietly.

"I'm so scared. What if the Fanders don't like me or our relationship? Are you gonna leave me because of them and will I die alone?" Tears fill my eyes again and Thomas wipes them away.

"(Y/N), listen, I will not leave you, no matter what my fans say. They mean a lot to me, but I love you so so much, I couldn't live without you." Thomas says and kisses my cheek.

"Okay, let's tell them," I say and smile. Thomas opens his laptop again and clicks the streaming button. We wait a few seconds before Thomas does his intro.

"So, we wanted to tell you something," Thomas says and I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. "(Y/N) and I are dating and have been for 2 years."

Instead of "WTF?", "OMG no." and "Ugh", you know, the messages I expected, the chat is filled with "YES", "OMG YES", "FINALLY!!" and "OTP!!"

Without really noticing it, I've started crying again.

"Are you okay (Y/N)?" Thomas asks and pulls me into his side.

"Yeah. I'm just so relieved." I smile and watch the chat that is now filled with "aww" and "cute".

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A/N: Thank you all for the incredible 12.8K reads and 487 votes. I literally can't thank you all enough, you're so amazing ♡

Well, that's all for now.

Take it easy guys, gals, and non-binary pals! Peace out!

~ Azura011

[Originally published: October 4th, 2017]