Sad songs // KSIMON

XIV

[Simon Minter]

Bang!

I jolted up right, out of my slumber. I heaved in sharp breathes, the sound really making me regain my consciousness. The thud of a door slamming still echoed through the house as I rubbed eyes. I glanced around my room and then toward the clock sitting on my bedside table.

6:53 am

'Who the hell would be up at this hour in our household?! Barely a soul is awake at 10 am let alone now.'

The morning sun coated my room and I squinted slightly as my eyes adjusted to the sudden harsh light.

The more I began to think about the loud door banging incident, the more my curiosity grew as I sat up right staring at the blank tv in front of me.

I ripped the quilt cover off me and stood up, stretching myself out. It wasn't until I began to shuffle toward my wardrobe that I realized I was still wearing JJ's hoodie with nothing but underwear on my bottom half. A smile haunted my face at the mere thought of JJ.

Pathetic, I know.

I decided to just throw on a pair of SDMN shorts before grabbing my phone and leaving my room, I don't bother to make my bed.

Closing the bedroom door behind me, I hear shuffling and murmuring from the kitchen. I tilt my head slightly in confusion and make my way down the stairs. The carpet was rough on my feet and I bounded down, guiding myself using the hand rail even though I don't necessarily need it. My heart jumped a little at that thought that it is possibly JJ in the kitchen.

Once my bare feet made contact with the cold tiles that lined our floor, I plodded my way toward the kitchen. I was assuming that one of the boys had decided to come down and grab a quick snack. But I was secretly hoping it was the younger latter I'd been trying to get through to.

I reached out and opened the wooden door, peering in. Much to my surprise, my gaze meets a startled Josh's gaze as he continues to stuff his face with what looks like burnt toast. I giggled lightly at the immature lad, but in some ways I was disappointed that it wasn't the dark chocolate eyed boy that I'd hoped for it to be.

"Hey Josh."

"Jesus! Gimme a heart attack, aye?" He complains, chuckling at the scenario we had found ourselves in.

"Good morning to you too." I reply, sarcasm coating my words as I prop myself up onto a stool.

I scratch my head and then turn to face Josh, titling my head once again.

"Why you up so early? You struggle to get up at 12." Josh remarked giving me a smile.

I smiled back, not amused at the joke, but not nearly as convincing as I would of hoped for it to be.

"Um, you didn't happen to like slam a door or anything? Cause that's what woke me up, if was fucking loud, bruv." A smiled hinted at my face and my words showed curiosity.

Josh's face seemed to turn blank as he chewed on more toast. He was wearing a black tee with Tobi's birthday exclusive reflective rubics cube on it. As he rested his elbows on the island bench across from me, a temporary silence loomed in the room. My eyes locked on him and he seemed to squirm under my gaze. I knew he was trying not to tell me something and he was clearly procrastinating telling me.

"Umm... yeah it was me tryna find some s-snacks or something to eat for breakfast. Sorry for waking ya bro." He finally responded but he was chatting utter shit.

"I've known you long enough to know your bullshitting me. Bare lies. What was it, Josh?" I replied in a harsher, more demanding voice.

My glare intensified on the older boy and I grew anxious as I watched him try to ignore me, getting up and putting his plate in the sink. I tapped my fingers on the bench, filling the empty silence with a sound I knew would annoy the lad.

"Josh!" I grew more impatient as he just glared at me and then shook his head.

"What you don't know, won't hurt you." He sighed.

He clearly knows something and my gut is telling me that it's about JJ. I had an instinct to know when something was about Jide.

"Joooooosh! Just fucking tell me. Please!" I begged.

I got up out of my seat and started to make my way to Josh who similarly walked away from me. Until we were soon just doing laps of the kitchen.

"Simon, I'm not allowed to, he- I mean they won't let me." Josh stammered, causing me to stop in my tracks.

"It's JJ, isn't it?" My voice dimmed to a whisper as I directed my eyes at the older male standing on the opposite side of the bench.

"I-I... umm," Josh heaved a sigh before leaning himself against the sink, "fine. Yes, it was JJ. He told me not to tell you." Josh admitted and a small part of me was happy to hear his name.

The other part of me was confused as to why he didn't want me knowing.

"Tell me what?" I questioned, standing up right, feet warming to the cool tiles.

"That he left the house. He'll be gone a few hours I presume." Josh had a slight irritation ring through his voice but I ignored it.

"Well, did he tell you when? And why wouldn't he want me knowing that?" I once again questioned.

Josh looked slightly flustered at how concerned and questioning I was but I had to make sure JJ was okay. He was my main priority.

"Uh no he didn't and well because you'd probably... I dunno..." Josh trailed off.

Something sparked inside me as Josh's words echoed and I felt a sudden urge to go and find the boy. I wanted to tell him everything because I was so tired of him not being there when all I wanted was him to be there. I missed him. Everything about him.

"I'm going to go find him." I spoke softly staring at the door.

Alarm bells must have rung in Josh's head because the poor guy looked as if he were about to explode. I found myself moving closer to the entrance of the house.

"No! That's exactly why I wasn't supposed to tell you. You can't got find him! SIMON!" Josh yelled like an angry parent.

He lunged at me, grabbing my arm and then trying to drag me back to the kitchen. Pushing him off I grabbed my car keys out of the key bowl next to the door, slipped on a pair of plain black loafers and turned the handle. Josh once again wrapped himself around me like a child to their parent as he tried to pull me back inside.

"Josh. I'm leaving. Let go!" I stifled annoyed that he wouldn't let go of me.

I just wanted to find JJ.

That's all. Josh doesn't understand, in fact, he has no clue. None of the boys do, not even JJ.

JJ wasn't just my best friend anymore and this whole fucking thing has finally made me realize that. We aren't friends.

We are so much more than that.

I started to walk out the door, crisp morning air hitting me instantly as the door flung open. Josh was still holding onto me by the arm and I groaned in frustration.

"Piss off! Whether you stop me now or not, I'm still going. You don't get it, let me bloody go, god damnit." I cursed.

The tight grip around my wrist, soon disappeared and I heard a lengthy sign from behind me. I didn't bother to turn around, the last thing I needed was Josh's face of shock or disappointment to make we reek of guilt for the rest of the day.

But I wasn't going to be entirely rude.

"Bye, Josh."

"Stay safe, Si."