Sad songs // KSIMON

II

A/N: '>•<' means time skip. ENJOY! :)

[olajide olatunji]

It's not fair.

It's really not.

He gets to run off with her and be happy.

I don't even get to see him that much anymore because of Amelia. He's my best friend and he's ditching me, or at least that's how it feels.

I couldn't help but glare at Simon from behind as he kissed her forehead, I felt jealousy, so much jealousy. I didn't know I would ever feel this jealous especially over my best friend and his girlfriend.

I should be happy for him, he finally got a girl that treats him right but it felt wrong that he loves her.

The thought of me being this jealous scared me so much so that when he turned around to look in my direction I snapped my head back into the conversation that the four boys around me were engaged in.

Josh seemed to notice my uncomfortableness and gave me a concerned look, all I could do in return was a small sad smile as I folded my arms over my chest and looked down toward the ground.

Our small circle split and everyone was back to filming.

>•<

"SI! LETS GO! YOU PROMISED ME NANDOS!"

Immediately a surge of jealousy wavered though me. Simon and I always got Nando's together after filming football videos.

The jealousy soon left. I was more sad now then jealous. I watched him wave goodbye to us as Amelia pulled him to the car. They were both smiling like idiots.

Harry, Vikk, Josh, Callux and Ethan were still on the field with me, packing up. But I wasn't much help, if I ever was.

I sat on the ground, watching Simon drive off with Amelia in his car. I could tell the boys knew something was off, I think I've made it pretty obvious by now but josh seemed to notice more than anyone else.

"Hey, JJ. Are you okay, man?" Josh said softly, making me flinch as he sat beside me.

I stared blankly at the empty parking space where Simon's car used to be. The late afternoon sun casting a dim ray upon the tops of the trees and the now empty car space below it.

I sighed.

"I guess." I looked over to Josh, who looked extremely unconvinced.

He had a black t-shirt on with SDMN in white on the front, his hair was a bit of a mess from the breeze that the afternoon had brought.

"JJ, I know it's hard because of Amelia, but you can't keep ignoring him. He misses more than you think, he's not ignoring you... Jide, your ignoring him." He was gentle with his words, I liked that about josh.

He told the truth but I away that was calming almost. He rested a hand on my back.

"I just.... I don't know. I hate seeing him happier with her than he is with me. He's my best friend." I squeaked out trying to be tough when really I felt as if I was dying on the inside.

"The only time I've ever seen him happier than what his is with her, is when he's with you." Josh sighed, pushing himself off the ground and to his feet.

My eyes were still latched onto the car space. I could feel josh looking down at me as if he wanted me to say something, but I didn't.

He looked to where I was looking and sighed once again.

"Come on, boys. We gotta get back before it gets dark!" Harry chimed as he ran off toward His and Callux's cars.

Josh stayed by my side for a few moments before helping me up.

I wanted to stay there and just forget about the rest of the world, it was somewhat peaceful.

"Jj, just talk to him. Tell him how you feel, I'm not saying he will stop everything for you but at least he will know how you feel. He does really care about you, you know that?" Josh explained as he gave me a hug, it was nothing like Simon's hugs.

"I wish I could believe you, trust me I do." I uttered, hanging my head, I walked the rest of the way to the parking lot and got in the back seat of Harry's car.

Everyone, including josh was stood outside of the cars talking, whilst I sat in the back staring across the parking lot. Still looking at the same parking spot.

I knew they were talking about me outside. I knew they knew I was sad and I also knew that they all knew why I was sad.

It's been 3 months.

3 long months.

I put my earbuds in and blared Callum Scott's 'Dancing on my own', getting completely lost in the song, knowing the exact feeling.

'Somebody said you got a new friend
Does she love you better than I can?
There's a big black sky over my town
I know where you're at, I bet she's around...'

A single tear made its way down my cheek.

'And yeah, I know it's stupid
But I just gotta see it for myself
I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, oh oh oh
I'm right over here, why can't you see me, oh oh oh
And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooh
I keep dancing on my own...'

Why was I so upset? It's not like I love him. Not like that at least.

Or maybe I do.

I wasn't sure, but all I knew was that I missed him.
•••••••