murderer | vkook

23- date me

"i think i like you, jeongguk."

"w–what?" shock was evident in jeongguk's eyes, and it was only a second later when taehyung realized he had said his thoughts aloud.

oh my god, shit, what do i say next?
what do i tell him?? kim taehyung he should be the one falling for you and confessing like this, not the other way around!!!!!! he scolds himself.

"t-taehyung-hyung? what did you just say?" jeongguk repeats.

taehyung kept silent.

"ya, we've been silent for a minute now." jeongguk remarks, and taehyung looks at him guiltily.

"hyung, don't sweat that. you already told me that a few weeks ago, remember?"

and taehyung remembers.

he remembers the day he confessed his so-called feelings to jeongguk as a start of his mission, and that jeongguk was already aware of his 'feelings'.

"were you stalking me?" jeongguk asks, his eyes squinting, and taehyung almost rolled his eyes. like i'd do that.

"ya, answer me!" the younger said, making taehyung rethink of any other choices, but found only one. taehyung sighed, this is it.

"yes. because i told you already,
i like you."

taehyung shook his head, unbelievable.
how could i forget about that?

"a-ah, r-really?" he awkwardly laughs, and jeongguk smiles at him.
"i was just shocked that you told me those words tonight, since i definitely wasn't expecting you to be saying that after you've been put through hell." jeongguk remarks.

"oh, um–i just wanted to repeat it," taehyung bites his lower lip. he was very embarrassed; first, how could i say my thoughts aloud? and second, why have i forgotten that i already confessed my feelings to him?

"okay then, hyung." jeongguk still smiles, making taehyung wonder why.

"ah! by the way, how did you know i'm here?" it's time to confirm if he really is the boy from six years ago, taehyung thought.

"you really did not pay attention to the party earlier. i was on one of my part time singing jobs, and your brother happened to be one of my clients." he explains, which made taehyung's eyes widen.

"you were there the whole time?"

"yup. i was actually singing the whole time you were crying, and when you finally went out of the gate, i couldn't help but follow you because you might do god-knows-what," jeongguk mutters and taehyung smiles at the thought that someone was worried about him. at least, someone did.

"by the way... six years ago, were you here? and did you meet a little boy?" taehyung eagerly asks—it's time for the beans to spill. i finally got to know my savior from six years ago.

"g-gosh hyung! who told you about that?" jeongguk was flustered while taehyung became confused. jeongguk was very red right now, although taehyung doesn't seem to know why.

"i'm sorry for being embarrassed right now—i'm just—i just, i like that person so much." jeongguk says and taehyung held his breath.
he likes me???

"hm... so, who was it? it was exactly six years ago when it happened. the boy was crying and his name is?" just say kim taehyung, my name, taehyung.

"it's jimin." jeongguk then sighs.
taehyung could not believe it.
how can that be jimin?
i am definitely the crying person!

"i... i... i know it's wrong, and i should definitely move on, but i just can't, hyung! no matter how many times i remind myself that he is never coming back, my heart just wouldn't listen!" jeongguk's eyes started to form tears and taehyung was alarmed.

why am i hurting so much for a person who is hurting for someone else?
he asks himself, but found no answer.

"d-don't worry jeongguk, i'm gonna save you from that pain... i'm going to take all of your pain away." taehyung smiles a little, a smile that has a hint of him hurting somewhere deep inside his heart, and a smile that he knows he shouldn't be showing in front of jeongguk.

"h-how... how are you going to save me from this, hyung? tell me?" jeongguk says and his broken voice hurt taehyung more than anything else right now.

"i'm sorry for changing the topic, i just—i can't still remain okay when jimin's the topic." he adds and taehyung lets out a nod. he understands, but it hurts a little.

and he lied.
it actually hurts a lot.

"shh... it's okay, guk, stop pressuring yourself to move on from him—i know you can, someday, and i'm gonna help you." taehyung answers and jeongguk looks at him confused.

"w-what? h-how are you going to help me, hyung?" he wipes his tears from his sad face and taehyung did not know when he got his strength to still smile widely in front of jeongguk.

"date me."

and jeongguk's eyes widened.

"w-w-what?" it was obvious, he did not expect this. and taehyung knew he'd catch him off guard, that's why he said that. jeongguk looks at him with big wide eyes, mouth agape.

"i'm serious, jeongguk." he says.
"date me and maybe, you'll forget about jimin." taehyung adds.

"but hyung—i–i don't want to use y—"
he cuts the younger off.

"don't worry, i'm used to being used. it's not new to me anymore." taehyung smiles but then again, there's no glint in his eyes; he's not really happy. he just wants jeongguk to see that he is happy.

"taehyung, i don't like to use you, okay? you don't have to do these things for me. i'm—i'm sure i'll find ways to move on from jimin." jeongguk gives him a reassuring smile and taps his back but taehyung only chuckles.

"are you rejecting me right now?" he asks and jeongguk was then again, taken aback.

"this insults me more than saying you'd use me, really." taehyung remarks. jeongguk bites his lip and says, "i just don't want to use you, hyung. if i'm gonna date you, i wanna like you for being you, and not because i'm desperate to forget jimin."

taehyung kept his lips shut as tears started to form in his eyes.
does he care for me? and he closes his eyes to make the tears fall. jeongguk eyed him worriedly.

"just keep on hugging me, hyung. i know you're not yet okay." and he hugs the older even tighter. taehyung melted under his touch and he kept his arms around jeongguk's back for a long time.

"let's stay like this until we're both okay..." taehyung smiles and they both hugged tightly - inseparable and sweet.

——
[ i feel sad ]