Chapter 16

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DANIEL
Daniel almost let in the incredible crushing pain that was waiting right outside his heart. He could feel it knocking.... knocking, waiting for any sign of weakness for it it to rush in and shatter him. He was strong. He could keep it out, Logan was here.

"Ok we can leave. Did you get called into work? ", Daniel asked the love of his life. The look on Logan's face splintered a part of Daniel's heart and some of the pain rushed in but it was strong, he was strong. He was still keeping most of it out.

" No", Logan replied

More pain entered.

"Ok alright let me go pack, can I just come straight to your apartment? "

" No you have to got back home. "

More pain....

" Ok, Can we meet up tommorow then? "

" No Daniel we can't. "

More...

Daniel walked over and sat on the bed. He tried to block everything that was happening from his head. No way was Logan doing what it looked like he was doing. This was just his mind being a bitch and trying to psych him out. He was projecting what Kieran did to him onto Logan. Yes, that's all it was.

"Daniel... I don't...we should take a break from each other for a while. "

Pain. Such a short word. Four letters. And yet Daniel had never felt anything so horrible in his life. What he felt after Kieran demeaned him was multiplied ten fold. He let out a whimper that sounded like a wounded animal and with a chocked sob asked,  "why?"

Logan looked away not meeting his eyes and not answering. The silence was unbearable. Daniel felt like he was on the edge of cliff, about to be pushed to the bottom.
"Why Logan? Why do you need a break from me. "

Logan finally raised his head and looked at him.  He pinned him with a gaze filled with something Daniel couldn't read as his words broke him. " This was never meant to be anything. I just wanted to see what being with a guy was like and I did. It was OK but now I have to get back to my life, without you. "

His heart shattered. It broke and all the pieces turned to dust and became lost inside him. He turned away from Logan hiding the agonized look that must be on his face. He pulled out his  bag and started repacking.
"Ok When do we leave? ", he asked. He was surprised how controlled his voice sounded when his body was breaking apart.

"Uhm, first thing tommorow. You take this room. I'll sleep in another one. "

" No! ", Daniel shouted." You take this room I will not sleep here. "

No way in hell was Daniel sleeping in the bed Logan fucked him in. The pain was enough already. There was no need to add to it. He finished packing and brought his bag to another room. He flopped down onto the bed and prepared himself for a long night because he knew, sleep would not come.

When morning came Daniel was still lying in the same position he went to bed in and he still had not slept. He wondered briefly of Logan slept and dismissed the thought quickly as fresh pain seeped in at the thought of Logan. He got up and got himself ready for the journey home. He tried not to think about anything as he went through the motions. No thinking meant no pain. He carried his bag into the kitchen where Logan was sitting packed and ready to got.

"Do you want to eat before we leave?", he asked.

Daniel walked past without answering. He couldn't even look at nevermind talk to Logan. He still hadn't spoken when they got back to Los Angeles.

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