Who Are You Now? - Kellic

Chapter Five

|Vic pov|

It's now a week after we started the tour in London, we're in Sheffield right now, although the show ended about an hour ago I'm hanging out with Kellin we're going to get food for our bands, and BMTH, so we're driving around to find a good place and then bring it back. But we've been reminiscing about high school. It's kind of fun though. He's been remembering all these things that we've done, some I forgot even, that when he said it I immediately remembered. It's great hanging out with him again. We aren't going to far away from the busses cause then we'd have to remember where we came from and that's a lot of work to remember in the dark, of a different city let alone country.

"Here looks good" he said pulling into a parking lot of a diner, or at least it looks similar to one. I know that the British probably have a different name for it. I just don't know it.

"Alrighty" I say and we hop out of the car and go inside and order.

As we're waiting for the food to come we are still thinking back. Right now he brought up the topic I was hoping we could avoid. But I think that it wasn't really anything we could avoid.

"Hey do you remember why we broke up, like I remember few details but the rest is a bit fuzzy in my memory"

"Like what do you remember?" I ask him.

"Really only that we were in college for a few months then when I saw you again we broke up?" He says.

Ok I'm not going to lie but the fact that he doesn't remember kind of hurts. But then again he's married, and there's nothing I can do to change that.

"Well it's really isn't much different then what you said, only that because once we got to college and we started out talking to each other all the time, then after a few months we talked less and less that when we saw each other again at thanksgiving we mutually decided that it would be best if we broke up" I explain to him.

"I'm sorry" he says randomly.

"Sorry for what?" I ask.

"Well you know bringing it up firstly, but mostly braking up with you over something stupid like that" he say.

"Don't worry about it, honestly sometimes late at night I think back about us, and think could we have made it work? Or what is Kellin doing now? You know things like that" I say truthfully.

"Yeah, I understand that, I think back sometimes too, and think the same, like what is he doing now, or if I made more of an effort would we have broken up. You know things like that too" he says shocking me.

"Really, but aren't you married" I say. He just chuckles.

"Yeah, I'm married, don't get me wrong I love Katelynne, and my kids, but I do still think about the what ifs with us. You know, you were the only other person I dated before Kate, so I still have most of that locked away from her, I know she would most likely freak out if she know I dated a guy before her. She's a bit, how do I say this nicely, against same sex anything" he says.

"Really wow" I say.

"Yeah, But don't judge her to quickly, she has her reasons, I know them, but I can't exactly tell you why, but let me tell you its valid. So I forgive her, and also why I don't tell her anything about us" he says, I just nod my head in understanding.

"You know I wish we would have at least stayed friends after, it's nice hanging out with you again" he says.

"Yeah, it would have been nice, I miss hanging out too" I tell him. What is he doing. He's leaning in.

Then I hear the lady call that our foods ready thank god for that. I spring up from the seat and run over and pay for the food. Then I go back over to him. We go back out and it's now pouring rain. It's a good thing we have a car. We get in it when Kellin broke the awkward silence.

"I'm sorry that I-"

I cut him off, I leaned in and kissed him. It lasted a couple of minutes when reality slapped me in the face. I pulled away so quickly and stared at him.

"Oh my god! I s-shouldn't've done that, you're, you're married, I-I should go, I gotta go, see ya. . ." I say quickly.

"But it's raining, let me at least drive you back" he says.

"N-no it's fine, I-I'll be fine" And left the car to leave and walk back to the bus in the rain. I know he must have passed me with the car. But I couldn't stay there.

What the fuck was a thinking when I fucking kissed him. He's fucking married, if anyone understands cheating it's me, it's happened twice to me. I can't do the same. No. But it wasn't all my fault he did kiss me back so, but still I can't, no. What have I done? I probably ruined everything. Great. I was so caught up in the moment and the past I for some god-for-saken-reason my brain forgot everything and I did that.

___

It's been two days now, I'm sick, literally, I shouldn't have walked in the pouring rain for twenty minutes back to the bus. Its bad enough that we had to postpone our performance for a few shows.

Once I got back to the bus that night, everyone stared at me, like I had two heads or something. Mike was the first to speak, like 'where were you' and 'I thought you went with Kellin' I answered their questions mostly, except why I walked in the rain. But I'm now just staying in my bunk, trying to forget my mistakes.

I haven't even seen Kellin, since then, but since I was sick now I had an excuse, that I wasn't feeling well. I even heard the guys talking to him yesterday when he came over to check on me. They told him I was sick and need rest. But I was wide awake listening. He seems concerned and distant at the same time. It's confusing but, what about my life isn't. No one has been able to put anything together, yet. And for the first time I'm thankful that most of my band is to dense to figure it out. I'm talking about my brother Mike and Jaime. Tony, he just to quite and shy to say anything really unless really necessary.