You see Namjoon quietly sitting on the couch. As you creep up slowly behind him you place both hands on his eyes.
'Guess who' you smile gleefully at your cheesy action. He removes your hand and turns slowly to face you.
'Hey (y/n) what are you doing here?'
'Surprise! The other guys let me in today, and I haven't seen you in ages. Congratulations on your debut performance it was really amazing!'
He forced a smile, 'thanks but today's not really the day, can we try sometime later?'
His voice in real life sounded just like his messages, polite yet always pushing you away.
'Okay... I just wanted to know how you were,' you pause for a moment
'Namjoon we are still best friends right?' It was the question that had been on the tip of your tongue every time he said he didn't want to see you.
'Yeah of course, just not today' his fists clenched, he was agitated. Your instincts for your best friend began to kick in as you grew slightly worried.
'Namjoon is everything alright?' You say as he avoids your eyes.'Are you alright? Is it the stress or the fans getting to you?' He locks his jaw as though sealing all words tightly in his lips.
'Namjoon...'
'Can you stop asking me those questions,' he snaps
'I merely wanted to ask how my best friend was doing,'
'Not good, I just feel like I'm in that game of spinning plates where there are so many plates spinning and you can't let one stop or else they crash.' He starts pacing around the room,
'I can't do anything right, when I look around I see so many people better than me, he's better at singing he's better at dancing. It's awful, I used to be able to get anything right the first time and now I can't do anything. I'm tired yet every time I want to fall asleep, I feel guilty!'
'You shouldn't feel guilty'
'Don't tell me what I should and shouldn't feel, I'm not even good enough, I was so excited to debut yet now once it's happened it just reinforces the fact that I'm not good enough'
'Namjoon, you're one of the best ones out there' you say
'No you're just saying that, and why are you even here, did you not get the message all those times I did not want to see you'
'I'm so done with you' he says, 'why are you even here then? Just to interrogate me? Get out! I don't want you, how can I want you now that I'm like this, I have a different life now, you don't fit in!'
You wince at his words, they cut right to the core. You never thought he would lash out like that, using your own insecurities against you. You stand there confused and shocked from his words, only he could hurt you so much. You straightened up and took a shaky breath.
'Namjoon, I'm not going to be an idiot, so if you say you don't want me I can walk away, but the only reason I ask is to make sure you're okay. First and foremost as a friend who cares'
He says nothing, and with a head hunched forward, a look of tiredness and defeat on his face, he turns his back on you and drags his feet away. He heads into the bathroom, closes the door and you hear the rush of water coming from the tap.
You pause, uncertain as to whether or not to follow him but there were still words left unsaid, and you needed to make sure he was okay. It was evident that the stress of debut was clearly taking a toll on him, so even if he pushes you away again, you needed to help. You knock on the door and turn the handle slowly, the sudden thought of seeing him naked crosses your mind as you squint your eyes, yet relief hitting you when you realize he jumped into the bathtub clothes and all.
