EGO

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"I kiss the crook of her neck, causing her to release a muffled moan as I sucked gently. She was being submissive to me, which was weird considering she liked to the be in control. She pulled me closer, bringing her lips to my ears as she whispered “I want you inside me-”.

“Inside me…. INSIDE ME? How could you do that, huh. How? Regarding that you’re both girls?!” I tilt my head up looking at Camille on the other side who’s munching her dessert. “And you don’t have dicks!”

“Well we do have-” I cut her.

“Nope. No. Please, I don’t wanna hear it and why do you have to make me read that. Don’t ever, ever, NEVER gonna make me read those kinda shit ever again.” I snarl at her but she just looked at me amused.

“It’s like a preparation Margo.”

“For what?!” picking my salad.

“For, you know. Whenever Kenny come back and of course you both have the hunger for each other. You’ll have the idea on how to please her. How to make her moan just by your touch.” my stomach tightened on how pleased and dreamy Camille say those words as she leans over to me. I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my jaw. “And to make her orga-”

“SHUT UP!” I blurted out slamming my hand on the table as I stand up then I could feel, hundreds of eyes staring at me. That is when it came back to me that we are at break in the cafeteria. I cleared my throat then looked around with my bitch face and I don’t know why, every time I do it, everyone shut up. I looked back at Camille whose eyes are widely open then blurted out laughing. I’m gonna strangle this bitch, I sat back.

“So, have you told her?” Camille ask excitedly. I shook my head. “Why?”

I'm supposed to, back then in Boracay, but I got distracted by her eyes. No, her legs actually. DAMN IT. Those long, slim and fine white legs that gets me, nearly out of control sometimes. She caught me staring that time and I don’t want to sound pervert, so I simply turn my gaze into her eyes and boy I was smitten.

“Did she contact you already?” Camille cut me from my daydream. I just stare at her deadpan.

“I forgot something I’ve got to do. I’ll see you guys later.” I left the cafeteria and went back to my office.

I don’t want to talk about it. It makes me more off the hood. Ken might be dealing some serious stuff that's why she can't contact me. I lean on my chair and took a deep breath.

Before I met her, I thought my life is complete. Peacefully and happily living with my friends and with a successful career away from the drama and that bloody profession that my family claimed to be a tradition. My mom and my siblings didn’t care about my decision tho except my dad and gran'PA.

Then she came, I never liked girls and never have I pictured myself being with other girls except with Cara, but not something and stuff. The thing about girls is that they are hygienic, well, most if not. They are  presentable and they smell good which I hope most of the guys should be. However imagining it with a girl is like…. Urgh, it’s disgusting! Even if it’s Cara. It’s like having a taste of your own pussy. Truthfully, I haven’t taste neither of the both sex. Yes, I’m still a virgin. I’m a twenty years old nun and Camille knows it.

Behind that, when it comes to her I’ve never thought my life would be even this beautiful. That every time I’m with her I feel like everything is brightly shining. Not like before, I don’t stay longer at work anymore just to go home early and be with her. Is it even normal that I always think of her? Yes, always from the day that I met her. I never felt like this you know.  

I was busy thinking about everything not realizing I am looking at Ken’s picture on my phone. Stop thinking about her Margo it’s already two months. She already forget about you but what if she’s just dealing with some problem or….. I took a deep breath. She might forget about me but I don’t because I spend most of my nights thinking about the idea of her. Then the memory from the beach before Kenny left floods back.

That time after I nearly died, when people suddenly started to circle us. I thought they’ve mistaken Kenny as Kendall again but one voice made it different. Hearing that, Kenny looked alarmed and look around uneasily. Then a slim white lady with a huge guy with her side came in front of us locking eye contact with Kenny, calling her Kendall. Do they know each other? Why is she calling her Kendall? This doesn’t make any sense. I heard something about Kenny’s mom, that she needed her back as soon as possible and something about men spread out that they don’t have much time. Everything was so fast and muffled. All I could do is looked at Ken then she’s gone.

Is she really Kendall Jenner? My brother once told me I have a celebrity friend. A BIG time one, but I didn’t actually pay any attention to it because they might really just look a like. I mean, they really do looked a like. They do have some similarities with their likes, dislikes and some mannerism. I don’t know much but they do. Actually, I really don’t care who the hell she really is. Kendall or not I don’t care I have that urge to see her, to be with her famous or not. That urge to touch her soft skin and gaze on those mysterious brown orbs that sparkle every time I looked at it but I can’t. I can’t contact her and ask her if she’s okay, if she’s alright or doesn’t she want to see me anymore. Did she really just used me and now that she doesn’t need me she just throws me out of her life like nothing. If that's the case it’s fine but at least send me a message that she’s through with me. It bothers me cause I’ve never felt this way before. Never been in a relationship and never been in a deep friendship like we have. I don’t need an everyday call, just a single text is all I need.

It’s already ten in the evening when my night shift ended and it felt like the dreadiest shift of my entire life. I got to my condo and went straight to the kitchen to quench my thirst not even bothering turning the lights on. I put the pitcher of water back to the fridge after gulping down a glass. Gosh, why do I feel so heavy, I took a deep breath. I think I need a vacation somewhere, anywhere I need to stressed-out. Maybe I should visit home it’s been quite a while since I went there and maybe a couple of days should do. Now that I think of it I missed the ranch, Musty, Buck and Silver. I smile. I think I should do that I just need to check some schedule if there’s an important meeting and I’m good to go. I turn my back to the fridge when a figure of a tall girl stands before me. I flustered but when she took a step closer my world just stop.

Tho it’s just the light from the fridge I still could tell. The only person who could make the so called butterfly in the stomach go wild and live. I froze and my heart suddenly begin to jump and roll like it’s going to be detached from where it was placed. She took another step  and I flicked causing me to lose my grip on the glass and was completely shattered as it touched the floor. I gasp and came back to my sense. With no hesitation I knelt down quickly to pick up the pieces only to be slit by one of the debris, I hissed.  A red fluid gush out from my finger. The girl in front of me ran over immediately just by hearing me and took my bleeding finger, putting it in her mouth not even thinking twice. Then I felt fuzzy down below my belly as I feel her sucked the blood from my finger. I gulp and my lips parted by itself. I was brought back to my sense when she stopped and look so worried looking at my wound. Seeing her here with me made all the anxiety washed away. Like a heavy metal on my chest just got lift-upped. It’s so surreal, but I came back to the reality.

“Margo, I’m so sorry.” holding my hand tenderly as her eyes glitter genuinely.

“Did you came back to pick up your other stuff.” I said monotone as I pull my hands off. She frown with sadness which made my heart broken. Damn it, I want to hug her but I don’t want to. Why do I have this huge EGO.

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