The Beginning (GxG)

Chapter 15

-JAMIE'S P.O.V-

Falling asleep in her embrace is so easy. It's like something natural to me. I collapsed on top of her and just could get out "You be my pillow" before falling asleep.
She was like a pillow. Though the feel of her toned belly through her shirt gave me some bad ideas. Good ideas, but bad ideas. I wanted to see her beauty.
I wanted more tonight but I understood why she didn't want to do anything here. It wasn't the time or place for the first time. And that's what it was going to be, my first time. I've never..and I don't even know how but I would love to learn.
I no longer have my doubts about loving her because I know I do love her. I'm not afraid if she doesn't accept me because if she didn't she would have ran. I still feel guilty.
I feel like a terrible person to have put her through my seizures. I feel like I should be hung for it as if it were a crime to constantly be sick. I can't shake the feeling that she won't be able to love me because she will think she will lose me.
I don't want to lose her though. And I most certainly do not want to drive her away. I want her to feel the way I feel about her.
I can't believe I want someone to love me. I never wanted something or someone so badly. But I need her. She kept me breathing, even if I felt closer to death than anyone actually knew.
I want her to love me. I already love her for just caring past my scars, past my medical issues. I just wish I could pick her brain for her real feelings about me.
It's been a week or more since she has been by my side. And I can't imagine leaving this place and not spending my nights with her. I almost don't want to go home. I only want to stay because of her.
My feelings grew stronger with every passing minute. The way she feeds me, even when I beg her not to. The way she kisses me, the taste of her soft lips.
I will miss not sharing this overly small bed with her when I am discharged. I will miss her holding me. In general, I will miss her.
She's seen me naked 2 times. And her eyes lingered on my body as if I were in a halo-ed glow. My body isn't special?
I have scars up my thigh and on my wrists. The doctors showed me pictures of a purple black bruise on my back. My hair was a fucking trainwreck.
I might have abs and dd breasts, but that's pretty much all I have going for me. But the way she looked at me. I saw hunger in her eyes. I wonder if she's had sex before...if She knows what to do.
I wish I could see her body. ...I wish I could feel her body. She makes me so turned on just by the touch of her lips on mine. I could only imagine what would happen if we went further. Only imagine.

I wake up with a slight headache. I groan before rolling off of her. My head was hurting more and more as the moments passed.
I pressed the nurse call button. She was still asleep, so I tried to keep it that way. The nurse walks in.
"Jamie, what's wrong?"
"My head, my head" all I could say before I started crying.
"Hold on, Jamie." She reached for her pager and sent a page to my doctor.
"The doctor will be here in a second."
I felt my world drift slowly from underneath my feet. My heart was racing so fast. And my vision went black.
I heard a loud this and started to feel sharp pains on my head before I slipped into pure darkness. Not again.

I'm in her arms and we're walking down a forgotten path in the forest. It was beautiful. She was walking slowly behind me with her arms wrapped around my waist as I inched forward.
This place was almost as beautiful as she was. But nothing was as beautiful as she was. Anything could try and best her but nothing could beat her soul.
I hear a voice call out to me. Dad? What is he doing here?
"Bird. It's not time. You have to go back. It's not your time."
"I don't understand"
"You don't belong here yet, Bird. We will see each other another time. I promise. But not right now. You have to go back."
"Dad, tell me what's going on?" I felt myself crying. Lynn's arms weren't around me anymore. She disappeared.
"What's happening, Dad?"
"It's not the time for you to come with me. I'll wait til you grow old. I'll be here waiting but it's not time."
"Am...I dying?"
"Not if I can help it, Bird. I promise you that one day we will meet again. But this isn't your place." He wraps his arms around me. His embrace, I've missed it. I don't want to leave.
"I can't go. I still need you."
"I know, Bird, but I'm always here. Always, I promise you. You need to go back. I need you to go back. Your mother needs you."
I feel nothing but tears and a broken heart erupt from within.
"Please Don't let me go again."
"You have another Angel holding you now, baby. And she is waiting for you to return."
"Lynn.."
"Yes. And I will see you both one day as you walk this path again. You have to go back to her."
"But.. you." I was crying so hard I was shaking in his arms.
"Who loves ya, baby?"
"You do.."
"That's right, Bird. You will always be my little girl. I love you."..
With that he vanished and the halo light was gone. The forest was dark. And lonely.
"Dad.."
I felt warmth and hot tears touch my hand and I looked down.

"Dad.." I slowly opened my eyes..
I could see Mom crying, holding one hand. And Lynn crying, holding the other. Zee was sitting in the chair closest to me, crying and broken.
"Jamie! Can you hear me baby?" Mom's words were ringing in my ears, sound fading out. I couldn't move my head much.
"Jamie.." I felt Lynn's lips touch my hand.
"Jamie, can you hear me?"
I was slowly blinking my eyes, trying to adjust my eyes to the bright of the room. I squeezed both of their hands in mine to assure them I could hear them. I didn't know I was crying until I felt Lynn's hand wipe my tears away.
"W..why are you..crying?" My voice was harsh. I could barely choke it out. I spoke to everyone.
"You left me. You left me, Jamie. I'm so sorry for all I did. I was stupid. I didn't want to lose you. You left me. But you came back. I need you. More than you need me, I need you." Zee says as she starts crying harder.
"I left?" I try to speak out.
"The doctor found another source of your seizure triggers. If the results for the ct would have come back correctly, they would have seen it." Mom said.
"Seen what?"
"A tumor, in your frontallobe."
Oh. I had no idea that could have been the case. I left them... For a short period of time.
"Dad said to come back.. said you needed me.." I started crying.
"I do, I do need you, Jamie. I need you and your sister both. My life means so little without you." Mom was crying.
"I'm here.. Zee.." I let go of mom's hand and reach for hers. She takes it instantly.
"I forgive you." I say. Her eyes told me everything.
Told me how sorry she was. How sorry she will be forever. How she will do anything to make it up to me. Her eyes told me her heart was shattered. I felt her heart shatter.
"Lynn..." I choked down a sob of tears.
"My Dad is waiting to meet you." I say.
She gave me an off look, confused but I think she caught on.
"I can't wait to meet him." She said and kissed my hand. Her hot tears dripping in my skin.
"Please don't leave me" she whispers to me.
"I won't."
"Please don't leave me, Jamie." Mom said after wiping her eyes.
"Dad said it's not time."
She laughed a bit at it.
"Good."
The doctor walked in with a chart.
"Good to see your eyes open, Jamie." His warm smile comforting.
"We found a tumor and removed it. You should be in recovery at this point. Once healed properly, I will make sure to put you on medication to control your seizures. But at this point, you really shouldn't have anymore extreme seizures. The tumor seemed to have quite a cause to your condition. I would expect you to be out of here by Monday. But you need your rest, I recommend visiting hours to be over for the time being."
"My head hurts.. like sort of a stabbing pain." He nods in response.
"Don't worry, I will be giving you medication for any pain you are in."
I lift my hand Lynn is holding "and she is crushing my hand" I laugh.
"I'm sorry, baby" She let's go quickly.
"I didn't say to let go."
The doctor and everyone laughs at me. I start blushing. Mom and Zee are smiling at me like I'm an idiot.
"Okay, girls. I think it's time for me and Zee to head home." I smile to her and Zee.
"Keep her safe, Lynn." Mom walks over hugs Lynn tightly. And Zee hugs me.
"I love you, Jamie." She whispers in my ear.
"I love you too, asshole."
"Jamie. Language" My mom says.
"Sorry. Not sorry." I shrug with a smirk.
She just laughs. Her and Zee walk out of the room.
Lynn doesn't take but a second to climb in bed and wrap her arms around me tightly. I feel home, and at ease now. I feel happy.
"I love you, Jamie" She whispers into my neck.
What did she just say? Did.. Did she just.. did I hear that wrong?
"..w..what?" My heart was racing. I was sure I was hearing things.
"I love you, Jamie" She said it again.
Okay. I think I heard it right.. I feel like panicking. I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs like a giddy lil bitch. I feel like...
"I.. love you too." And I fucking mean it.
I hear her giggle. Feeling hear warm breath against my skin is a feeling like no other. I want her everything as long as it's with me.
"Will you lay here? And hold me? And promise to not let go? Will you please stay forever?" I plead, trying not to cry.
"I promise, baby. I promise, I will lay here forever."
I needed to get her a promise ring and I will once I was free of this place. I hope she will accept it. But she said she loved me...
Wait.. She said she loved me.. And she said it first. She said she loved me.. She said she loved me. Her words begin running through my mind on loop. I didn't even hear myself ask her.
"Kiss me? Please... Kiss me?"
I felt her move closer to me, placing her lips on mine. I felt a warmth grow inside me. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and kissed her til I was left breathless.
"I love you, too." I whispered across her lips.