Just A Country Girl [completed]

20. Oh brother

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Ahh chapter twenty!! Please vote and show support, thank you <3
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The drive back to his house was silent, but the silence was comfortable. We didn't talk about what happened, but smiled goofily like idiots the whole ride home.

"Thanks for the late lunch." I thank him smiling sheepishly as he stopped the car in his driveway.

"It's really no problem. I enjoyed the time we spent." He said, his eyes glimmered with an emotion I couldn't quite figure. I smiled.

I was about to get out of his car before he spoke again, stopping me from going any further. "Is it hard for you to trust?" He asked furrowing his eyebrows. I purse my lips already knowing what he meant.

"Yes, it's very hard for me to open myself up and let myself trust again because there's always going to be those thoughts and 'what-ifs' about whether someone has the same intentions." I say feeling guilty that I can't learn to fully trust someone even when they give me their full trust and love.

"Do you think you can ever be truly happy with everything that's happened to you?" I ask solemnly. He finally smiles softly and nods his head gently.

"Well, if you can learn to be happy, I can learn to open up and trust." I say smiling determined now.

"Do you think you can ever forgive him?" He asks and I already knew he was referring to Ross.

"Forgive? Yes, but forget? Never." I say staring at my shoes intently as I replay the last year of the pure torture I endured.

"You can forgive him?" He asked incredulously.

"Yes, I can. I don't know why he did that to me or what his reasonings were, but I do believe that he should deserve my forgiveness and because I'm human, I'll never forget what he did to me, and for that we'll never be together." I said sighing.

"I do believe that you shouldn't forget, but some of me feels like you shouldn't forgive him either." He says and I can feel his gaze on me as I play with my fingers anxiously.

I finally look up at him. "If God can forgive me for anything and everything, I think I owe it to him and myself to forgive him whether he wants it or not, but I won't forget because I also owe that to myself to not be able to endure such tortures again and the beatings he gave me." I say searching his green eyes.

He nods understanding. "I just don't understand why he would do that to you." He says furrowing his brows in confusion. I purse my lips.

"That's why it's hard to trust, because I don't know what I did either, so I can't tell myself that someone won't do that to me again for no reason, when I yet to understand either." I say, my face solemn and hurt.

"I understand and I seriously hope that one day you'll understand that most guys intentions are good and not abusive." He says. My face softens.

"Do you think you could ever forgive your dad?" I ask trying to be gentle.

"I don't know, I can't help but think if he were more considerate and stayed that somehow my mother would be alive. He could've helped with her treatment, she might be alive, my brother might be alive." He said clearly trying to suppress tears. I rested a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I understand that you would blame him, but you need to learn to forgive, if you can help me to slowly trust then I can help you forgive so that you can finally heal that scar of your life." I say. He looks at me unsure.

"Okay," He says. "Okay." I smile. He smiles back softly.

"I need to go." I say opening the door.