Forever and Always [A Bensler FanFic]

Chapter 12

Elliot's POV

I stood towards the back of the hospital room, while the doctors tested her reflexes, and her vitals.

She had fluttered her eyes, but it was just something that happens. It wasn't because she was waking up.

"Alright, Mr. Stabler, I'm sorry." The doctor frowned, and I sighed.

"I knew that it was too good to be true." I replied, and he frowned.

"Don't worry. She'll wake up with time. Maybe bring in those kids." He spoke, as he pointed at the picture I had sat next to her bed. I swallowed hard.

I couldn't bring the kids in. I didn't want them to see her like this. I wanted them to have what she looked like the morning of the accident, not after it, as what they were looking forward for.

"I can't." I breathed.

"Why not?" He replied.

"I don't want my kids remembering her like this. Maureen is different. She's 18, and even though it is scary for her, she can deal with it, but the younger ones can't." 

"Understandable, Mr. Stabler, but having her loved ones around her might help her wake up." He spoke, before squeezing my shoulder, and he walked away.

"Why can't I be enough to wake you up, Liv?" I questioned, as I walked over and sat down next to her.

I gently grabbed her hand, and I ran my fingers over her knuckles, before bringing it to my lips and I kissed her hand and sighed.

"I miss you, Livvie. The kids miss you. It's been 12 days. 12 whole days where I've been scared that you would leave me and our kids."

=+=

Sam stood up in his crib, holding onto the railings, as Liv and I walked into his room. He was a happy 5 month old, and was just a sweetheart. Liv walked over and started to tickle him, and he giggled loudly. It didn't take long before Maureen came in and joined.

"Sammy, what are you doing?" Maureen giggled, as she stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

"I think he missed his sister and Mommy." I spoke, and Maureen walked over to the rocking chair with Liv and Sam.

"I think I should quit school." Maureen spoke, and Liv and I looked at her with wide eyes.

"You are only 8, Mo." I spoke, and she nodded.

"I know, but I miss Sammy when I'm not here with him." She replied, and I smiled gently at her.

"Mommy and I miss Sammy too when we are at work, or when only one of us work, but we still need to do it." I replied, and Maureen sighed, as Liv chuckled.

"Mo, you have summer break soon. Then you have all the time in the world to spend with Sammy. But for now, I'm going to make dinner."

=+=

I walked into my bedroom that night, and Liv looked at me, her eyes barely open.

"Tired?" I questioned, and she nodded.

"Yeah, I don't think I've been this tired in awhile." She yawed, and I smiled as I walked over and laid down next to her. She cuddled close to me, and laid her head on my chest.

"Sammy and Mo take a lot out of us." I admitted, and she nodded.

"I love them both, but some time away from them would be nice." She yawned, but then she smiled.

"What?" I questioned.

"Even though I want time away from the kids, I can't even think about anything else but them. I'm a mother. It's scary, and surprising."

"I'm not surprised." I admitted, and she nodded.

"I know. I love being a mother, but I just never thought I would live long enough to become one. Then you had Maureen, and I was in love with you, and everything happened so quickly." She sighed.

"Did it happen too quickly?" I asked, and she shrugged.

"I don't know. We're only 23. We have two kids, and at the rate we do things, I wouldn't be surprised if another one was close behind."

"Babe, if you need space, or sometime to yourself, I understand."

"No! I don't want space or anything! I love this! I really do! I just. I just wish that my mother was a good mother, and that we could have her in our lives."

"You can always try and talk to her."

"She doesn't want to talk to me. I returned her stuff."

"Liv, she knows about us. About Mo and Sammy."

"How does she know about Sam? She kinda knew about Mo, but not much."

"She asked why you couldn't take the stuff back. So I told her about you having Sam recently, and were still in the hospital."

"Fuck, El!" She exclaimed, as she climbed out of bed.

"Liv!" I exclaimed, and she started to pace.

"No, Elliot. I didn't want her knowing about our son! She isn't going to have anything to do with him!" She exclaimed, protectively.

"What about Maureen?"

"She isn't my daughter!" She exclaimed, in the heat of the moment.

"Mommy?" Maureen questioned, as she stood in the doorway. We both looked at Maureen. Liv sighed.

"Baby, go back to your room." I spoke, and Maureen shook her head.

"I'm not your daughter?" She questioned, and Maureen looked like her whole world had shifted on its axis.

"I didn't mean that, Mo." Liv spoke, trying to soothe the hurt that had been forced onto our daughter. Well, I guess my child.

"What am I then? Daddy?" She questioned, as she looked at me, tearfully.

"Come on, Maureen. I'll tuck you back in." I replied, and I walked over and picked her up.

I carried her back into her bedroom, while tears ran down her cheeks.

"Daddy, what did Mommy mean by that?" Maureen whispered, painfully.

"When this happened, it was in the heat of the moment. Mommy is just upset, she didn't mean it."

I somehow got Maureen back to sleep, and I didn't even bother going back into our bedroom.

Liv could sleep there, and I would sleep downstairs. She didn't need more worry or pain on her plate right now.

I grabbed a blanket and propped myself up on a pillow before trying to fall asleep.

It only took Olivia twenty minutes to come downstairs.

She had her arms crossed over her chest.

"What are you doing?" She asked, and I sighed.

"I'm sleeping down here. I'm guessing that I'm in the dog house. So just go upstairs and try to get some sleep. Sam will be up at midnight because he'll be hungry." I spoke, and she walked over and sat down on the coffee table.

"Maureen is my daughter." She whispered, and I nodded slowly.

"I know that, and she thought that. But Liv, do you really love her like you love Sam? It just seems like maybe the love is different, because you didn't have her growing inside of you for nine months."

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