Forever and Always [A Bensler FanFic]

Chapter 9

Elliot's POV

I left Fin with Liv for a few hours, so I could go home and spend some time with the kids. Poppy may or not be sick, and when she gets like that, she wants Liv or myself more than anyone else. I didn't want to leave the hospital, but I needed to do this. I needed to clear my head.

I pulled up to our house, and closed my eyes slowly. 

I could still see every home coming in my head.

I could see every hard day melt away when we saw our kids and their antics made us laugh.

I climbed out of our car and walked towards the front door. Even before I could open it, it was swung wide open.

"Daddy!" Poppy cried out, and I reached out and cuddled her close. 

"Hey, Poppet." I breathed, and she frowned.

"I missed you." She spoke, and I rubbed her back.

"I missed you too, love. Come on, lets go inside."

I carried her in and saw Lucy sitting on the couch and she had a frown on her face.

She knew that I needed to tell them.

I sat Poppy down on the couch, and then sighed as I looked at my baby sitter.

"Um, kids. I need to tell you something."

=+=

I gently kissed Liv's cheek, as I sat down next to her bedside. She had her arm draped over her stomach, and I was in tears as I watched this. There was no longer a baby in there. We had lost our son, and it hurt so bad.

Liv's eyes slowly fluttered open, and she looked at me with unfocused eyes.

It took her a moment before she looked at me.

"Hi." She whispered, and I reached out and gently caressed her cheek.

"Hey baby."

She looked around and then down at where her arm still was.

"I lost the baby, didn't I?" She asked, and I bit my lip before nodded.

"Yeah, I'm sorry." I whispered, and she started to cry.

I climbed into the bed with her and held her as she sobbed.

"I was fine until this morning! I thought nothing was going to happen!" She sobbed, and I rubbed her back.

"Baby, he is in a better place." I whispered, not knowing what to say.

"H-he?" She whispered and I nodded tearfully.

"The baby was a boy."

"What did you name him?" She whispered, and I swallowed hard.

"I didn't. Do you want to?" I breathed, and she nodded slowly.

"He is our son, El." She sniffled, and I wiped tears from her cheeks and then kissed her gently.

"Alright. You had a bunch of names picked out in that pretty head of your's. Now, tell me what you want to name him."

"Ethan." She whispered. Then started to cry again.

She laid her head against my chest and sobbed again.

The little boy that she had felt grow inside of her for 5 months, was now lifeless, and we were both heart broken.

I ran my fingers through her hair, and rubbed her back slowly.

"I love you. And I'm so sorry that this happened to you."

"Us." She sniffled.

"We'll make it through this."

"Oh god." Liv spoke, her voice cracking.

"Liv?"

"Where's Maureen?" She spoke, panicked.

"She's with Mrs. Lee. She had came out into the hall after all of the commotion, so I asked if Maureen could stay with her for a bit."

"Did she see me?"

"She walked in. I sent her out to get the EMTs." I replied, and she bit her lip before moaning softly.

"Why does it hurt so bad?" She whispered, and I frowned.

"Try to get some sleep. It'll go away with time."

"What if I can't have anymore kids?"

"They said nothing was harmed. You just need some time. And whenever you are ready, just tell me."

=+=

I helped Liv into the apartment a few days after she lost Ethan, and I sat her on her feet outside of our door. She had attempted to climb the stairs, but she still felt like shit, so I picked her up and carried her, even though she didn't want me to.

"Is Maureen at school?" Liv asked, and I nodded.

"Yeah, but be prepared." I spoke, as I opened the door to the apartment. She looked around as tears welled in her eyes.

"She did all of this?" She questioned, as she looked at all of the drawings that Maureen asked me to put up this morning. 

Since the day we found Liv on the bathroom floor, she drew a lot of stuff, trying to make sure that Liv would be as happy as when Maureen would just draw her a picture for fun.

"Yeah. She said that Mommy needed to be really happy. So she drew even more than usual to make sure that happened."

"I love her so much. And you too." She breathed, as she turned into me. I kissed her lips softly, before grabbing her hand and leading her towards our bedroom. I helped her sit on the bed and I went and unpacked her bag, while she tried to stay put, because that is what the doctor ordered.

Lots of rest and pain meds to help with the cramping.

I walked out of the bathroom and saw her crying.

"Liv?" I questioned, and she held up a card that I hadn't noticed.

"It's from your mother." She whispered.

"Oh, she must've left that here last night."

"Did you not sleep in here?" She asked, and I shook my head.

"I can't sleep without you beside me. So I slept on the couch, and Maureen slept cuddled up to my side."

"Wanna read it?"Liv breathed, and I nodded.

"Sure. If you want me too." I replied, and she handed me the piece of paper, and I looked at it, sighing.

Dear Olivia,

Sweetie, we all are shocked by the news. I'm so sorry. I know that you and Elliot were both so excited about having a baby, and then to add to the excitement, a boy. Elliot called me crying when he drove to the hospital. He was broken, but he wasn't worried about his own feelings, he was worried about you.

Liv, he loves you more than words can explain. I know that you both decided on not getting married, but marriage isn't needed for you two. You both love each other, and I'm thankful that you came into his life.

You are doing an amazing job raising Maureen, and I know that when you decide to have more children, no matter how long it takes, you will be an amazing mother.

If you need anything at all, call me. I'll be there before you know it. We all love you, and praying for you.

~ Bernie

I read it and then sat it down as tears ran down my cheeks.

"See, I'm not the only one who loves you."

Hey guys! Thanks for reading! Please vote and comment all of your feedback below! :D