S-s-stutter [Zarry]

cookies are everything

+Harry (mature)

My soul shivers again and again, my heart quivering.

I want his warmth pressed against me. My body trembles as I pull the blanket tighter around me.

Stop pushing him away. You love him. You love him so much, your heart weeps in his absence.

He returns with a smile that instantly warms me up and a tray of freshly baked cookies.

"Zayn," I whisper softly. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?"

Tears are spilling from my eyes and he neglects the cookies, just wraps me up in his arms like I'm the most fragile thing he's ever touched.

"I never meant for any of this to happen. I hate that you're involved in all this," I sniffle and he gently kisses my cheek, his lips evaporating my tears.

"Harry don't say that. I need you as much as you need me. You coming to my appointments made my life so much happier. I would count down the time until it was time to see you; shoot glances at the bloody clock. That sounds silly but I always looked forward to seeing you, to hearing your voice and making you smile. Your laughter is light."

How does he do that?

"You're so romantic," I giggle, face nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

"The cookies are getting cold."

"I'm just as sweet," I joke, my curls tickling his skin.

"Mmm," he hums in agreement and I pull back to look him in the eyes. Skin like caramel, eyes like warm amber. "Don't tease me Harry."

"Or what?"

"I'll punish you," he says gruffly, teeth grazing my neck.

"I-I'll be good."

He chuckles, tugging at my earlobe.

"Babe don't be shy. Come on," he coaxes huskily, his breath fanning across my flesh. He licks his lips, eyes serious. "Are you sure you aren't uncomfortable? You can tell me if you are."

"No," I mumble. "I like this. I want this."

"You want me?"

"Yes," I pant breathlessly as he lifts me up, his hands looping around me. They slide to my waist as my legs bracket his hips.

There's a frenzy of kisses along my neck and jawline and I feel dizzy.

He swoops down and sets me on the bed.

"I'll take your mind off things."

His hand caresses my cheek and my eyelids flutter closed.

I feel the softness of his lips and his hands roaming my body and I'm not afraid.

This touch is so different.

But I'm hesistant. My body feels so used and so neglected. I feel worthless, like he pities me. Nobody would actually want this.

There's still that feeling in my stomach, it clenches like an angry fist.

My eyes snap open. Why am I like this? It's Zayn. He'd never hurt me.

I'm not worthless. Stop fucking lying to yourself.

He notices how unsettled I am and pauses his affection.

"We don't have to do this. It's okay kitten."

"Kitten?" My heartbeat is erratic and he lies beside me, tucking me into his arms.