Searching the Darkness

Chapter Thirty Two: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

"What did you just say?" Cas asked.

"I... I asked if you would marry me."

Cas sat back, his mouth hanging open in surprise. "Are-are you serious right now?"

I shrugged, sitting up. Cas was still sitting in my lap, his hands playing with one of Rocket's toys that managed to end up on the couch. "If you want me to be."

"Wow, I, uh... I guess I wasn't expecting that." He shook his head. "I mean, what's it been, almost six months?"

I smiled, laughing. "Yeah. The best six months of my life," I leaned forward and softly pressed my lips to his. Pulling back, I wished, more than anything, that I could see him.

"A bit too soon to be getting married, though, don't you think?" Cas asked softly.

I nodded. "Yeah, I agree. I guess it was the only thing I could think of to get you to stop tickling me."

Cas smiled. "Fair enough." He stepped off of me as I backed into the edge of the couch. I leaned against the armrest, reaching out for Cas' hand. I found it and pulled him down next to me, hugging him tightly. "What's that for?" Cas asked.

"I have to have a reason to hug my boyfriend?"

Cas shook his head as he cuddled into my chest, "No, I guess not." His smile faded as he sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"Dean, look," he groaned at his choice of words as soon as they slipped out of his mouth, "there's something you need to know."

I bit my lip. "You're leaving?"

Cas sat up, turning to cup my cheek in his hand. "Dean, I am never going to leave you."

"Then what is it?"

"It's about Rocket."

I sighed, "The doctor said he's sick, didn't he?"

"Will you quit guessing? You're being completely ridiculous." I rolled my eyes. "Now, I need to tell you about his, um, breed."

"Oh, you figured it out?"

"Uh, yeah..." Cas trailed off. "Well, for starters, Rocket is actually a girl."

"Hm," I mused. "But there's more."

Cas nodded. "See, Rocket isn't really a cat. She's a raccoon."

I laughed loudly. "That's funny, Cas!" My voice trailed into silence when he didn't laugh with me. "You're not kidding. Wow, uh... so I have a pet raccoon? Is she still cute?"

I felt Cas cringe. "Oh, Dean... it scares the hell out of me."

"Why?"

Cas shook his head. "I don't know, maybe it's how completely blank its eyes are. There's no life to them at all."

"Like mine?" I asked softly.

Sighing, Cas pressed a lingering kiss to my forehead. "Dean, I have never seen eyes as vibrant and full of life as yours." He sat back and smiled fondly. "So don't even try to go there."

"Go where? I'm not going anywhere." I shook my head, trying to mask a smile.

"You know exactly what I mean, Dean Winchester."

I hugged him to my chest again, laughing softly. "So, if Rocket is a raccoon, what are we going to do with her?" Cas shrugged. "I guess that makes sense why you wouldn't want her in our bed."

"Look, it's not that I don't want you to be happy, it's just that that thing seriously gives me the creeps."

"Then what should we do with her?"