Searching the Darkness

Chapter Twenty Four: Winter is Coming

"I don't know how I'm going to do this without you," Cas stood above the fresh plot, a bouquet of flowers clutched tightly within his hands. "I don't think I can... Dean," the name was still a bitter reminder of everything that had gone wrong. "I know you never believed in this stuff, but the only thing that is making me get up in the morning is knowing... that you're in Heaven and you can see me. That you're actually seeing me." He looked up at the clouds, cold tears slipping down his cheeks. "Is this what you pictured? Was this... okay?" He looked back down at the headstone and sniffed.

"Cas..." he seemed to hear faintly. "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The bluest blue eyes to ever blue..."

I woke up cold. I had no idea as to where I was. The world around me was silent as I struggled to decipher up from down, left from right. What happened? I thought to myself. The memories suddenly slammed into me: the tire blowing, the bus sliding on ice, the feeling of being forced through glass, landing on the frozen ground, passing out from the pain and cold.

I tried to push myself to my knees, tears freezing to my cheeks as they slipped from my eyes. "Hello?" I called, my voice cracking slightly. There was nothing. Not even the faint sound of passing cars or panicked voices. "Cas?" I whimpered, praying that somehow he'd be able to hear me. I trembled, unable to feel my hands or feet. "Cas?" I tried louder.

"This is all my fault..." I heard almost indistinctly, the soft whisper coming from what I thought was behind me. "I'm so sorry..." I forced myself to stand, despite the pain of what was obviously a sprained—if not broken—ankle. I began to shuffle through the snow, following the broken voice. "Dee..."

"Sammy," I breathed, willing myself to go faster. My arms were stretched out in front of me, trying to feel my way through the snow. "Sammy..." I called louder.

"I can still hear you!" he sobbed. "I'm so sorry, Dean! You died thinking that I hated you... If only I could take it all back, do it all again. It wasn't your fault." His voice was steadily getting louder as I continued towards him. "I want you back," he whimpered. "I just want my big brother back..."

"Sammy," I repeated, willing myself to move faster. I heard him look up and scream. I could only imagine what I looked like. No doubt I had frostbite on my nose, lips, ears, and hands, the skin most likely a dark shade of blue or purple. My eyes were cloudy with freezing tears, the drops that were lucky enough to escape were frozen into thin trails down my cheeks. I had my arms stretched out in front of me, and one of my legs slightly dragging behind me. It was almost a guarantee that I was covered in shards of glass and spatters of blood as well.

"S-stay back!" Sam cried, his voice cracking slightly in panic.

"Sammy, it's me," I whimpered. "I'm alive." He didn't respond, probably too shocked to move. "I'm not a zombie, Sam, those don't exist."

He scoffed a little. "They did when I was six and you convinced me that the world was ending."

I laughed, the sound turning into a sharp cough, "I need help, Sammy, please..."

"Right!" he began to panic again, rushing towards me. I practically buckled in his arms, once again shivering violently. "Come on, Dean, I'm not losing you again," he encouraged me as he practically carried me to his car. As soon as I was secure in the seat, he ran to the driver's side and slammed his foot on the gas. It could've been seconds or it could've been hours before he came to a screeching halt, yanking open the door and pulling me out. "We need help!"

I heard feet run towards us, then I was being pulled away from Sam. I didn't even put up a fight as I was pushed onto a gurney. Before I knew it, a mask was placed over my nose and mouth. Within moments, I was unconscious once again.