SNAPCHAT//daniel seavey

five.

lauren's pov

     i woke up from my notifacations blowing up. "what the fuck?" i thought to myself. i checked my phone and saw all my friends asking me if i was okay. i was so confused. i went to twitter and saw the trending hashtag. "#prayforlauren" i clicked on it and saw that somebody tweeted pictures of my cuts. i was pissed. those cuts were self harm scars from one year ago. i still have a few permanent ones, which have since faded to the point where i could easily cover it up with makeup. i went and tweeted a series of tweets saying:

"yes, those pictures are real. as real as ever. but they were from over a year ago. i haven't put a blade to my skin in 14 month."

"i went to therapy. i turned to anti depressants. i got HELP. idk who leaked those pictures. i never TOOK pictures which means sometime last-"

"year, somebody took my sleeping body and took pictures. whoever it was, why? fuck you for leaking something so personal. i was gonna talk"

"about it when i was ready. i'm still not. but ig i now have to. i'll film a video tonight. it'll take time to upload, but you guys deserve"

"an explanation. please don't ask questions. i'll say what i wanna say in the video. i'm not gonna say EVERYTHING because some shit is too"

"real and personal for the internet. please don't think of me any different. fr you guys saved my life. thank you. i love you all. xx ♥️"

     after my rant, i turned my music on and took a shower. i got out and started to get ready. i did my hair, my makeup, and threw on a random outfit (below). i went to postmates and ordered a bowl with white rice, chicken, cheese, lettuce and green sauce from chipotle. around 20 minutes later, them man came. i paid and ate.

    i set up the camera up for my video and began to film.

"hey guys" i said waving. "if you've been on twitter recently, then you know what this video is about. if not then you're probably confused as fuck. so, basically somebody leaked pictures of cuts on my arm. from over a year ago. i never took pictures so basically somebody took pictures as i was sleeping. that was a violation of my privacy. i wanted to share this when i was ready. i'm still not. but i know i have to talk about it. so. here we go."

     "it started when i was a child. i was abused verbally by my dad and people at school. my dad got help and stopped though, the kids didn't. it continued onto middle school. some kids stopped some didn't. i made few friends but was continued to be bullied. in high school it didn't stop. i was never really depressed until high school. that's when i thought something was genuinely wrong with me. i'd date boys but they only dated me because i was 'good in bed'. it hurt because nobody liked me for me. that's when i started to self harm. i thought there was something wrong with me. i didn't wanna live anymore. i wanted to die. but i was too scared to die.  so instead of killing myself, i just cut myself. it relived my pain by causing more". at this point i was crying. sobbing, in fact.

     "it became like drug. i'd crave having the metal blade carve into my skin. i couldn't help it. then i started to drink, do drugs, and take pills. pain killers to be exact. i'd party every night. sleep with a different guy every night. i was going crazy. then my dad died junior year. i was a mess before and an even bigger mess after. instead of partying, i wouldn't leave my house. my mom would try and try but i wouldn't budge. i started to do my schooling online. i got so ahead  i graduated early. i stopped cutting after i graduated. i went and got help. i knew if i didn't, i would've died. on top of all this, my social media platform was taking off. and with that, came more hate. more hate than even love. then i did the thing. you all know what i'm talking about. i just don't wanna say it. it scars me. some people supported me through it, most turned their back on me. all but five of my friends left me. fans stopped supporting me. i turned back to my dark side. i didn't cut. but i was back to drugs, alcohol, and pills. as of now? i'm still suffering. i still smoke. i still drink. just not as much. i still do it because i still hurt. this is all i'm saying. i could say more, but i'm not ready. please understand. i love you all. thank you for all the love and being there for me. until next time my lovelies. bye"

lauren's story:

    

daniel's pov

     i woke up with the boys pouring water on me. "ugh why!?" i asked as i stood up, putting a shirt on. "bro, it's noon. you had to wake up" jack said. i sighed and shooed them away as i checked twitter. i saw the trending hashtag "#prayforlauren" i clicked on the tag, praying it wasn't about my lauren. i scrolled down, the further i scrolled, the more pictures i saw. then i saw they were talking about my lauren. lauren allyson brooke. i instantly covered my mouth in fear. shock. sadness. anger. confusion. i felt every negative feeling in the book. i didn't even realize that i was crying until the boys came in.

     "yo daniel what happened" jonah asked me, as they all sat down on the bed beside me. i couldn't speak. i gave jack my phone. he was the only guy in the house that knew about lauren. "daniel, i'm so sorry" jack said. the other four boys were confused as hell. "who even is that?" corbyn asked. "a girl daniel is practically in love with. they talk everyday" jack said rubbing my back.

     "i'll be fine. i just have to know if she's okay" i said, barely making my words audible. i grabbed my phone, went to snapchat, and messaged her. i tried to call, but she didn't answer. "we're gonna give you some space" zach said as the four boys left.

darling: LAUREN PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE OKAY!!

darling: i'm scared lauren

darling: i care about you

darling: PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE OKAy

darling: i don't wanna lose the best thing to happen to me

darling: even an emoji, just please lauren

darling: i love you lauren. (message failed to send)

opened

lauren: ❤️